Closure
by Pixiestick-cc
Summary: Even in a new body, moving forward for The Doctor is not easy. When he is forced by Amy to explain his relationship with Rose Tyler, The Doctor finds the experience healing as is a visit to her past.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note** – Dedicated to my wonderful beta Aly. I hope you enjoy the Rose/Eleven fic you requested.

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He knew this feeling. No matter how many times he regenerated this was an emotion that never went away … attraction to the opposite sex or if he was entirely honest with himself the same sex too, but that always came and went with whatever new body he was inhabiting. This time though the human creature trying to seduce him just happened to be female and he couldn't stop himself from being … well, attracted.

Amy Pond was the young woman pressing her lips against his while she frantically pulled at his braces, losing her grip at one point and letting the elastic slap against his chest. She wanted to have her way with the _Raggedy Doctor_ and he was doing his best to discourage that. Her voracious reaction to him was something he had worried might happen. After learning just how much of a role the memory of him had played in Amy's development, The Doctor knew keeping the girl as a companion might be tricky. He was after all an extremely likable fellow and after you add to that the years of her building him up to grandiose stature in her head and Amy never stood a chance.

Really, though any time he brought a new companion on board, The Doctor feared their friendship might grow into something deeper. Out in the recesses of space and time things worked differently and for humans it could sometimes be too complex. It was a world that only Time Lords were meant to experience. Only a handful of his human companions had never once worried him. Their ability to take in his life had been like second nature. He recalled one of them actually being rather recent. Although, he had sensed she was special from the start. As soon as he had held her hand in his, only hours after saving her life from those damned _Plastics, _The Doctor had seen into who she was and knew … Rose Tyler was his match.

_Rose._

And she was the exact reason he needed to stop what was happening with Amy this instant. He tried to think of what might exactly work to repulse the girl. His Age! Yes, his age. Humans only lived at the most 100 years. He was well beyond that. If she knew how old he really was then maybe that might deter her from moving those soft lips of hers against his skin. "Amy … Amy I'm over 900 years old. Do you know what that means?"

"It means it's been awhile?" She cheekily replied, her hot breath trailing down his neck as her mouth continued to find places to caress. He had misjudged her. His age didn't bother her in the least.

"Yes, or I mean no … No. Stop this Amy. That's not what I meant." The Doctor softly nudged her away, "I'm old … I don't age. It's impossible for me to be with you," He paused and then added rather dejectedly, "or anyone of your kind."

Amy formed her lips into a pout that was meant to look sexy rather than childish, "Awww, that's very sweet Doctor, but I wasn't really looking for anything that long term."

She moved her body towards him again, ready to resume where she had left off, but The Doctor reached out a hand which was now holding his sonic screwdriver. It made its usual sonicy sound that he fancied so much as he pushed down on the buttons.

"And you wanted to use this … how?" Amy pulled in her bottom lip, staring at the device, curiosity creasing her brow.

"Ewww … no. No no no no." The Doctor scrunched his face up in slight aversion once he realized the girl's train of thought, "I just … I didn't know how to get you to stop. It's always my last line of defense. When all else fails, sonic."

Amy shrugged, "Alright, you've soniced and got my attention. Obviously this isn't what you want. I'll just gather up my stuff and leave," Amy turned quickly on her heel, The Doctor catching the look of rejection written clearly on her face as she moved, but then suddenly she was facing him again, "Hold on, this is my room. You take your box and leave. I have some angst to work through now, thank you."

This was exactly how he hadn't wanted the scene to play out. It was key for him to keep from hurting the fragile emotions of a young girl who still had so much to learn about herself … about as much as he did. The Doctor hadn't wanted to add another notch of negativity to Amy's life. He'd already done enough damage with his many appearances, disappearances and reappearances in her timeline over the years.

"Amy, please … you have to listen to me." He reached out to caress the girl's hand causing her to pull away slightly, but ultimately she kept her hand in his, "It's not like you think. Yes, I find you very attractive and quite honestly it's taking a lot in me now not to do what you want me to, but …"

"Buuuuuuuut …" Amy mimicked dragging the word out when he didn't respond.

For a man with many words, too many words, who said a lot of words that usually got him into trouble, The Doctor was for once at a loss. He couldn't find the right way to explain to Amy exactly what he was feeling, what he had been through. Even in this new skin, with new bones and new hearts, he was still very much the same Time Lord he was when he had lost Rose, not once, but twice.

"But … I …"

Amy began tapping her foot with impatience.

"You know what? I think we need to take a little journey to help you understand me a bit better. Yes, that sounds about right. Please, step into my box, Miss Pond." The Doctor snapped his fingers causing the doors of the TARDIS to spring open just as he knew they would.

Amy's face did not at all look trusting, so The Doctor felt compelled to raise and lower his eyebrows a few times, "Ayyy Ayyy… you know you want to."

"Oh, you are completely maddening, you know that?" She sighed, but nonetheless let him lead her through the doors of his time machine.

"Yes, I do know that." He replied with a laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note** - Thanks Aly for betaing your own story and having a wealth of Who knowledge. ;)

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"Tell me Doctor, how is taking me to my own time period and planet going to help me better understand _your_ past?" Amy asked after taking a peek outside the TARDIS doors only to discover that although, they may have left the four walls of her bedroom the scenery hadn't changed all that much.

His companion shut the world of modern day London behind her and walked over to the Doctor who was standing over the TARDIS console, "Well?" She prompted when he didn't reply to her query.

"Well, Amelia if you had looked more closely then you would have noticed that I took us to 2005 London and not 2010 Leadworth, but of course your human mind wouldn't have picked up on the subtle difference." He said, lightly tapping her forehead with his index finger before rushing off to avoid retaliation from the feisty redhead.

Sometimes the Doctor couldn't help his gloating … it was ingrained into his system. After being alive for as long as he had, it went with the territory to develop a bit of an ego. Amy gave an exaggerated eye roll in reply and despite himself the Doctor smiled, because he knew she had every right to be frustrated with him.

Sometimes when he actually took a moment to think about his practically never ending life the Doctor wondered how any one person could stomach his personality for more than a few years, but then of course that was exactly the time span of any companion he took on. Shaking away the spiral of sadness this thought was bound to take him down, the Doctor instead took a few moments to dance around the console pulling on knobs and pushing buttons making sure his ship would be fully sedated and protected. By doing this, Amy and he would be able to leave the TARDIS unattended for a few hours or however long it took.

"So … to answer your question." He said, finally coming to stand in front of Amy again once he had finished.

"Yeah?" She raised her eyebrows.

"You remember what I told you about my planet and how it was destroyed … along with my people."

Amy's expression quickly changed from one of mild annoyance into sympathetic. Yes, she remembered. If there was one thing he knew about Amy Pond it was her emphatic trait. He had sensed it in her that very moment when she dutifully served him custard and fish fingers at the age of 7. He remembered, because it was similar to what he had felt upon meeting Rose.

The Doctor sighed and it dawned on him that being in this time period, knowing what he had to face was definitely causing him to remember and feel things. He had to fight the urge to sob. No, he'd rather slap himself. Now was not the time to delve into self pity. They both were here for a reason and he couldn't let whatever sorrow that still occupied his emotions deflect them from that mission.

"Doctor, are you all right?" Amy asked, concerned when he grew quiet.

He made a few facial expressions that were mostly his way of forcing himself to confess to Amy things that had remained locked inside him for a long while and finished with a quick hand through his thick locks, "Ah yes, sorry … just thinking … brain so big and all." The Doctor sent her a lopsided grin.

There was a look on Amy's face that told him the girl wasn't sated. She could see the hurt he was failing to mask and his friend placed a hand against the skin of his cheek and softly cupped it. "What is it? What are you hiding in there that's causing so much sadness?"

The Doctor swallowed the lump that was building in his throat and slowly gained the courage to speak, knowing he had to answer her eventually, "I have no home and for a long while your planet has been a comfort for me. I view it as a substitute for what I no longer have and it goes without saying that I am fond of humans." He gestured in her direction with a nod of his head, "I've had many companions other than you, Amy and not so long ago there was one … her name was Rose and … that is who I have brought you to see today. Well, actually not only Rose, but me too."

Amy backed away a bit, "You've brought me here to see you with another … another ... Rose? Is that it? There's someone else and that's why you're not interested in me? Don't you think that's a bit cruel to show me you both _together_? You could have just told me."

The Doctor wanted to make an audible groan directed towards Amy, but then had to remind himself she wasn't as old as he was and couldn't see situations with the same clarity. She was a young human girl and those typically had their feelings hurt over things as silly as another woman. Oh, these human relationships were complicated. "I did not bring you here to hurt you, Amy … Amy … Amy ..." He stated her name inflecting a certain fatherly tone when he saw the girl looking away in spite.

She whipped her head back around, crossing her arms across her chest, "Okay then what?" Her look was upset, but also expectant like she had issued a challenge and was waiting for his response.

"I loved her." He raised his hands dramatically in the air in defeat, having never admitted to anyone, not even Rose herself, that confession. "There are you happy? I loved Rose and had to watch her be torn from my life twice. She's gone and it's the memory of her … that feeling of grief she left inside me that makes it impossible for me to be with anyone, so soon … if ever again. I can't let myself love like that or even be with anyone frivolously right now. I'm not able. "

"Oh." Amy's hands flew up to her mouth in shock, "Did she die?" The girl asked from behind her fingers.

Her question seemed to pull the Doctor out of the distress the admission had brought upon him, "Huh? What? Uh … no … no she's actually with me in a parallel universe. Well, not with me technically, but a metacrisis version of my former incarnation and their quite happy, I suppose. No doubt she's forgotten about me … wouldn't even recognize me anyway now that I've regenerated." He replied, beginning to talk in a fast pace mumble as his mood became more introspective.

It always bothered him just a little when he let himself think of Rose with his other self.

"What does that even mean?" Amy's brow creased as the complexity of what he had explained flew over her head.

"I'm not sure … well, I am, but it's far too complicated to hash out right now. I'm much more concerned with what time it is and the fact that we have under 30 minutes before Rose's shift ends at the shop." He replied.

"Are we going to visit Rose?"

The Doctor nodded, "From afar at first … that's the plan anyway. Care to join me?" He held out his hand for her to take, hoping she would forget all her jealously and just go along with it.

Thankfully for him her sympathetic side ruled out over the resentment Amy felt and she left hand in hand out into London with the Time Lord.


	3. Chapter 3

They had only been walking along the bustling streets of downtown London for a few minutes when Amy timidly asked, "Was she your first love?"

He turned his face towards her slightly, but then looked forward again continuing on in the fast pace he usually found himself in, always in a hurry off on the next great adventure. Only this time it wasn't an adventure. Experiencing the events he had shared with Rose as a spectator and not in first person was something to be dreaded for its sheer heart wrenching capabilities. Yet, here he was moving along with quick feet. He didn't know any other way to be.

"No, my history is long and I won't bore you with the details. I've lived far beyond your mind's capabilities and was a father once before … a grandfather even if you can believe it. I doubt you believe it, do you?"

He peeked a glance at Amy expecting to see the look of shock he was certain would be on her face, but for once, maybe even the first time ever, he was wrong about an expectation. She simply was listening, patiently waiting for him to continue. There was not a trace of disbelief to be found in her expression. That's right. Nothing could stun her about him. He was Amy's _Raggedy Doctor_ and the girl had been influenced in the strange at a very young age.

"Yes, well … yes, I'm old. I've had other companions, etcetera, etcetera." He said, waving his hand in the air with a grand gesture as a means of closing the conversation.

"Yes, etcetera … go on." Amy pushed him into continuing with an encouraging smile, because of course plucky girl that she was had no intention of leaving it at that. His less than thorough explanation wasn't going to suffice her curiosity.

The Doctor grumbled a bit under his breath. He knew that this was his fault. There was no way to just show Amy. He also had to explain. It wasn't like him to be emotionally vulnerable and what had started as a way to keep Amy away from him was now actually drawing her in.

_Damn it all._

"Well, Rose … Rose Tyler." The Doctor said her name thoughtfully, trying to gain strength from his former companion.

To hear her name out loud brought about memories of Rose's courage, of all the times she had displayed it in the face of danger. That also included when she had used it to save his life on occasion. Saying her name was something he often did when no one was looking … he used it as a means to pull himself up. Even though the girl he loved was no longer around, Rose still had a way of rescuing him from many a dire situation. Her memory was a constant shadow of good will for him.

Finally after a few moments of silence, he found it in himself to give Amy a glimpse of his hearts and continued to talk in order to provide her with a better explanation, "If you must know all the intimate details, Rose was _a_ first. Not my first love, but she was the first …. the first in a long time to get me to let her in. I tried to always keep things friendly. Anyone I took along with me in the TARDIS well, we were always mates. I kept it that way. Regardless of what either of us felt, I never let it move on from a partnership. With Rose it was always difficult to do that. My urgency to keep those walls up seemed to disappear as soon as she came aboard. She was different like that, Rose." He sighed finishing his story by speeding up ahead of Amy, afraid of what might be written on his face, too embarrassed for her to see it.

She wouldn't stay behind though. He knew that and when a soft squeeze was felt on his shoulder, The Doctor didn't reject it. The feel was actually comforting and he turned his head to thank her, but instead found himself uttering a somewhat vulgar oath.

"Well, fine. I won't touch you. You don't have to be so rude. A little, _'Not know, Amy'_ would have been enough." She said mocking his voice in a rather sarcastic way.

"No, no, no, no … I wasn't talking to you. I was referring to the building. This building should be the shop Rose works at, but it can't be." He pointed towards the department store that was no longer a store, but a building under construction.

Obviously it had suffered a great deal of damage and The Doctor had come too late. The TARDIS had taken him too late.

"Rose works there?" Amy asked, now wearing the look of shock he had expected earlier.

The Doctor shook his head back and forth, "No, before she did. When we met this was a shop that eventually exploded due to my fight with some rather aggressive _plastics_, but I saved Rose from that."

He was pacing in frustration, angry that all the lead up, his willing himself to face this had been for nothing. He would have to do it all over again … the anxiety, the fear, the pain. He should have known better. This wasn't the first time The TARDIS had gotten things wrong.

"So, that means …" Amy was standing off to the side, watching The Doctor move so fast that he entertained the thought of his feet creating a path lower into the concrete of the sidewalk.

The Doctor stopped pacing to stand in front of Amy and finished her sentence, "It means The TARDIS took us here too late, right place, wrong time, so to speak. She and I are going to have a few words when I get back." The Doctor said wagging his finger in the general direction of his time machine, although he had walked too far away to actually see it.

"And we will …" Amy looked up at him with a curious stare, "Go back to the TARDIS?" She guessed.

It seemed like the proper thing to do, go back and start over. It's what he typically would have done, but at that particular moment The Doctor wasn't feeling up for another round of rip the scab off to expose the wound. These emotions were such difficult things to experience, especially when they had been kept away for so long, buried inside a bottomless pit inside his soul … if there was such a thing for a Time Lord. Maybe this mission wasn't supposed to even happen. Was it possible The TARDIS was trying to tell him something? Stay away from Rose Tyler's past?

"Doctor?"

The sound of Amy's voice pulled him out of thought, "Sorry … had a bit of a conversation with myself inside the big brain, but we're done talking."

His companion smirked, "And what does your big brain suggest we do now?"

A smiled spread across The Doctor's face, "What else … we're here in London, might as well enjoy the sights, get fish and chips, you know be all touristy. Maybe I'll buy you a Union Jack or a little plastic Big Ben. The possibilities are endless, Miss Pond." He was off walking again and Amy was forced into jogging just to catch up with him.

"But, what about Rose? Don't you want go back and find the right time? " Amy asked.

He knew the answer to that. It was so obvious to him now. No, he didn't. The Doctor had already given Amy enough knowledge and back story about Rose to help the girl understand why he couldn't get involved with her in the way she desired. He no longer thought it necessary for either of them to experience Rose in the past. It only would add more pain to the insufferable amount he already felt. No, he would go get the girl some fish and chips and call it a day. At least by doing that their whole trip wouldn't be a waste.

"I know the perfect little place to get you some food, come on now." He replied, ignoring Amy's question about Rose.

As the two of them continued on, Amy no longer pressed him with questions about Rose and The Doctor sensed that perhaps she knew. The girl was intuitive like that, she recognized it had all been too much for him and just like a good friend she left him alone rather than push his fragile emotions further over the edge.

When they arrived at the little place he had been once before, The Doctor and Amy took a booth and he remained in quiet reflection while Amy pulled his hands across the diner table and held them in her grasp. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

The Doctor nodded, thankful that Amy was so understanding and able to give him the time in silence he needed. Although, the respite he was seeking didn't last as long as he would have liked. Only a few minutes after entering the door, the whole restaurant was disrupted when a girl sitting a few booths ahead of them shouted, "You have the guts to do what's right when everyone runs away …"

And then she did. She ran away outside and as the girl moved past his and Amy's table The Doctor looked up and gasped. It was Rose.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note** - Sorry it took me so long to update. I was inundated with two bouts of strep, one nasty cold, and then a visit from my sister which left little desire in me to sit down at a computer to write. There was also plain old writer's block to deal with too. So, if you are still reading then thank you for your patience. I decided to switch from Eleven's POV onto Rose's and give a different perspective to the story. Hope you enjoy.

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Rose wasn't sure where she was heading. All that was clear in her mind was that she had to get away … away from her mum and Mickey. They didn't understand. Neither could comprehend what she had experienced with The Doctor and although, everything they said might have made sense to the average person - the do nothing with their life person - that was no longer Rose Tyler. She was different now and The Doctor had been the one to cause that change.

As her feet took her quickly down the street, past people milling about, Rose's thoughts centered in on that one person, being, thing, and at times god that The Doctor was to her. His ability to push her forward and meet that potential she never knew lay just below the surface was something no one else had been able to do … herself included. These thoughts caused a swell in her chest, like a rush of adrenalin mainlining to her heart and then a sudden idea struck her. Rose would find a way back to him … bloody hell, she didn't care about his holographic message to her. He was always being so concerned about her well being. What about his well being? She wasn't about to let him die somewhere off in the future. Not this time, not ever.

_Doctor, I'm coming to get you._

She had to get to the TARDIS … that was her only connection to him. Rose had heard The Doctor use language before when describing his time machine and it left her with the impression that the device was something more than just a piece of equipment. There was also her memory of how it had transformed that Slitheen not too long ago. The alien had been completely changed by the power inside the TARDIS. To her The Doctor's time ship may as well have been another being, a creature from across the stars, and she thought it might be possible the thing could be reasoned with. Perhaps Rose could prod it to do what she wanted. She would try to get it to take her back to The Doctor. It wasn't exactly clear in her head how she would manage this, but anything was possible. She knew that, because of The Doctor.

"Hold on. Where am I?" Rose paused for a moment to take stock of her surroundings.

So deep in thought, plotting her way back to The Doctor was she, that little attention had been paid to the way she went. That was really the whole point of her bolting from the restaurant … to get away from Mum and Mickey without heed to any sense of direction, but now that a plan had been formed she needed to regroup and head off towards the TARDIS. Where was it exactly? She did a few whirls around looking at the landscape of tall buildings around her when she recognized that not too far off was the shop she had once worked at, the one that had been destroyed. She took this as a sign. Her mind had subconsciously taken her to the place where it all began for her … for them.

She clasped her hands to her mouth and breathed in deeply. Rose had to try to keep from crying once more. She had done so much of that since being forced back to Earth by him. It seemed like such a useless thing to do … make tears. They wouldn't solve anything, but it was difficult to keep her emotions in check when thinking of her Doctor. The girl knew that if she ever made it back to him there wouldn't be any hesitation to say the things she had been wanting to say, but was always too afraid to. It no longer mattered if he rejected her confession of love and stated mater of factly in reply, "Oh Rose, you know that I can't love you. I'm a Time Lord." That was the way she had imagined him saying it every time she entertained the thought of having enough courage to express her feelings.

A lone tear drop found its way down her face and she wiped it away with the back of her hand, determination swelling inside her. There was no turning back now. She would find the TARDIS, find him and then spill it all, before time ran out. Turning about, ready to face the challenge, Rose began to walk in the way she thought the TARDIS might be, but only a few steps into her trek a bit of concrete jutting up out of the street caught her left foot and Rose felt her body lurch forward. A quick attempt to reach out and cushion the fall with her hands came just a little too late and her face smashed down hard on the pavement. The saltiness of blood filled her mouth and the girl quickly turned her head to spit out the red liquid.

_Well, that was a decent way to start off. _

Rose managed to cough out a bit more of the blood and then with her hands against the ground, she pushed herself into a kneeling position, readying to stand. Only she stopped when a dark shadow loomed over her, blocking out the hazy late afternoon sun. She glanced up to see the face of a young man she didn't know staring down at her. He was offering his hand, "Do you need help. I can help, I'm a doctor."

There was something a bit disconcerting about this fellow, Rose thought to herself as she put her hand in his somewhat timidly. It might have been the fact he had called himself a doctor. It was just too odd of a coincidence considering all the events of the past few days or the fact that he had offered his services. Did doctors ever just come up to you after a fall? She couldn't think of one instance when this had occurred to her or anyone else she knew. But, there was something else too. She couldn't exactly put her finger on it … déjà vu perhaps?

She took the man's hand and with his fingers wrapped securely around hers, he gently brought her into a standing position. A few seconds transpired where the two simply stood in front of each other, the sounds of the bustling street swirling around them. Rose's hand was still enclosed in his grasp almost as if he refused to let her appendage go and his green eyes stared at her intently. It was as if this man was waiting for her to speak. Well, one of them had to break the peculiar feeling pulsating between them. Rose decided to be the one, "No, um just a tumble, don't think I need a doctor, but I appreciate …" Rose felt the words freeze on her tongue as that nagging feeling of déjà vu gnawed at her brain, "I'm sorry," She cocked her head to one side and squinted her eyes as if that might aide her thought process, "Have we met before."

The girl thought she saw the pupils of his eyes grow larger suddenly before instantly shrinking back down. This all took place so quickly that she was sure her imagination was playing tricks on her. He didn't reply right away, but continued to hold her hand … a bit too long. She should have felt uncomfortable, but mysteriously did not. Finally after some time had passed he smiled slightly at her and replied, "No … we've never met. I only wanted to offer my help, but it seems you are fine then?"

Rose nodded, "Well, I guess I should be off."

"Yes, right, right. Off you go." The man finally relinquished her hand from his, but then raised it again briefly to pull a lock of her hair between his thumb and pointer finger, "I'll see you around then."

Rose knew she should have felt shocked at such an intimate gesture as hair stroking from a stranger, but for reasons unknown to her, she couldn't muster any feelings of disgust, only curiosity.

_Curiosity killed the cat__, Rose._

This was just too strange. "Well, Goodbye then." She told him when he at last released her hair.

Rose hoped that by furthering away she would see an end to this perplexing situation and sure enough the space the girl placed between them seemed to have the desired effect. Slowly her mind forgot the odd stranger and focused back on her mission – The Doctor … her Doctor, not that weird one. As the image of him flashed across her mind, Rose felt compelled to turn around once more to chance a look. Was he still there? She silently chided herself. What was wrong with her? She didn't know him and had much more pressing matters to deal with.

Eventually though she couldn't pull herself away from the intrigue and relented … one last look wouldn't hurt. Only it did. Her eyes widened as they caught sight of him heading towards her. This man was definitely a creeper. Quickening her pace, she ignored his calls, but then halted rather abruptly when something dawned on her. She turned sharply and found herself facing him.

"I'm sorry to bother you again, but you dropped your pocket book." He handed her the bag she must have lost during the fall.

Rose reached out and took hold of the item, "Thank you, but I have to ask. You called out my name. How do you know my name?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note** - Thanks to my beta for correcting me when I'm wrong concerning Who knowledge and thanks to those that continue to read and review.

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He wasn't quite sure if he had gone mental from all the grief or if that really was Rose who had run past him so quickly. But, then if it was her, the question begged to be asked, what time period was he in? The Doctor knew the shop had already been destroyed, so it was after he had taken Rose aboard the TARDIS. If she was here and not with him then where the devil was he? These questions had been coiling inside his mind for a few minutes, before The Doctor finally decided to look away from the door Rose had gone out. His line of sight eventually came to rest upon Amy who was eying him back with a curious stare.

"Is everything all right?" She asked, "You seem more keyed up than usual and that's saying something, because you can be pretty exhausting."

"I'm not sure. It's … hold on." The Doctor happened at that moment to look over Amy's shoulder and saw another familiar face a few booths away, although this one was not quite as lovely as the one belonging to Rose. "Mickey!" He said in surprise, smacking himself in the forehead with the palm of his hand, "And Jackie! Then it's true! That was Rose!"

"Wait. Rose is here?" Amy replied, glancing over her shoulder in an attempt to witness what the Doctor was seeing.

"Yes! Well, no … she's not here now. The one that ran out the door all full of passion about doing the right thing or whatever it was she said, that was her. That was Rose! That's my girl. Always on the go, wanting to right the wrongs."

A huge smile spread across The Doctor's face as excitement flooded his system. There was so much glee in him that he nearly had to stop himself from bouncing up and down like a fool. It really didn't make sense though. Hadn't he only minutes before come to the conclusion that seeing Rose would be something negative. He had already experienced what it felt like to tell another person about his history with Rose and that was difficult enough. Would seeing the woman he still mentally clung to, looking exactly how he remembered her, really be all that healthy for him?

Yet, The Doctor couldn't stop the emotions running through his veins, causing his whole body to hum. Rose was here and he would get one last chance to see the love he had given up. Well, that was if he could catch up with her. Rose had already left and he was aware that he had better as well if he wanted to see her before it was time for him and Amy to leave in the TARDIS. He couldn't very well spend his whole time here with Amy searching for Rose. Eventually he had to get her back to Rory and straighten their situation out.

"Coming, Pond?" He asked his companion, although The Doctor was already out the door by the time he had finished saying her name.

"And just _where_ are you going?" Amy said racing to his side, exasperated at his sudden mood change.

He could tell she was somewhat annoyed. Gone was the concerned Amy from the restaurant. Now she was back into her usual plucky mode, ready to question him about the chaos he created whenever he was moving, which was always.

"I'm going to follow, Rose. I thought that was apparent." He answered her question, continuing to move ahead of Amy at a quick speed.

"Nothing is ever apparent with you. How was I supposed to know that?"

"Keep up, Amy. It's not that hard for a human to understand." After the words were out of this mouth, he knew how badly they had sounded and paused in his words and movement to face her with an apologetic look, "Wait, sorry … that was rude. I am going to blame my lack of filter right now on the urgency in the air."

"Fine … apology accepted, but why are you in such a hurry? What do you plan to do when you catch up to Rose? Won't speaking to her disrupt something in the Space Time Continuum? Alter the universe in a horrible way?"

The Doctor sent her an odd look and then laughed, "What kind of jibber jabber is that … Space Time Continuum? Where'd you get that from?"

Amy pursed her lips and glared at him before focusing back on the direction he sprinted, always trying to keep up with The Doctor who had of course, continued moving again. "What, this coming from the man who coined the phrase _Timey Wimey_? Besides, I'm pretty sure it was a movie or just movies in general that came up with Space Time Continuum. I mean what do you expect from me? That's what I know. I'm not a Time Lord and neither is Rose. She has a path in life that needs to be lived. I'm not that stupid of a human. I'm pretty sure that interacting with her timeline would be … well, bad."

"Hey, Timey Wimey is nice. I like the way it rolls off the tongue, so don't knock it." He said, looking over at Amy just in time to catch the roll of her eyes, "Besides, you have nothing to worry about. I was never going to talk to her. That wouldn't benefit anyone … least of all me. I just wanted to see her."

As he finished talking, The Doctor's voice took on a sullen quality and Amy reached out to take his hand. Feeling her soft touch, he looked down at their fingers interlocked and then up at the girl who was now sending him a sympathetic smile, "Okay. If that's all then I'll stay with you and we can do this together." She assured him.

The Doctor nodded, thankful that Amy was here with him and the two kept moving along down the street, hand in hand until suddenly The Doctor brought his feet to a halt. This in turn caused Amy to stumble slightly, but with his strong arms, he managed to save her from falling completely. He did all this while continuing to observe the figure with the bright blond hair that had been his cause for stopping. He knew that hair just as he knew every other detail of the human it belonged to … the girl who stood only a few feet away.

_Rose._

She was staring up at the old shop, her last place of employment, and the site where they had first met. As he observed her, The Doctor could just barely make out the tears pooling in her eyes and upon identifying this he gasped. The revelation of exactly where in Rose's timeline he was came rushing to his brain. His love was crying, because she wasn't with him. Her eyes were fixated on the building and the girl was undoubtedly thinking exactly what he was … recalling their first encounter. He and Amy must have been transported to when Rose had been unwillingly sent home by him. The Daleks were ready to destroy them and it was the only way he could think of to save her life, but apparently it had crushed her spirit in the process.

"Oh, Rose. I'm so sorry." He whispered knowing all too well what it felt like to be apart from someone you loved.

Amy squeezed his hand, "Is that her?" She asked quietly.

The Doctor nodded, "And she's suffering, because of me … but that's alright. Rose will eventually find her way back and then of course destroy me in the process." He spoke more to himself than Amy, but of course his companion heard.

"Come again?"

He chuckled grasping just how peculiar he must sound to Amy at times, "Long story short, I sent Rose back to Earth to save her life and the defiant little bugger she was or rather still is decided to find me again, but when she did the results caused me to regenerate … change forms if you will."

Amy raised her eyebrows, "Okay, my fault for asking. I guess I should have expected an answer that would make little -"

"Oh, she's leaving." The Doctor said abruptly, cutting the girl off mid sentence.

"Would you like to follow her?"

The Doctor was quiet for a few moments as his eyes moved along with Rose. Ultimately he simply sighed and then shook his head. Amy leaned her body into his side as if silently saying she understood, but his companion should have known better. It was never beyond The Doctor to change his mind impulsively and that's exactly what he did when he saw Rose fall to the ground only seconds later. He felt a sudden rush of determination to protect his love. This sensation, the desire to shield her from pain, was one that had always been difficult to control whenever Rose was around before and here she was again … in peril, of sorts, and the only way he knew how to react was to look after her.

He was off, leaving Amy behind. Her words of caution as he ran fell on deaf ears. The Doctor knew what he was doing probably would have dire consequences, but the urge was far too strong to sustain. As he neared the girl, he was reminded of why he rarely attempted to visit Rose or any other person of importance from his past after their time with him was over. He would have thought at his age self control wouldn't be a problem, but when it came to love a Time Lord was just as weak as any human. Love always made him stronger, but weak as well. Rose was the epitome of this yin and yang for him. No one else had managed to give him such strength, but then also force him to make rash decisions, because he cared for her far too deeply.

He was now standing over her, although Rose had not yet noticed. Her head was facing downward, but she would look up any moment and The Doctor wondered if he should perhaps run away and make the right choice here before she saw him. His decision did not come soon enough though, for before he could force his feet to move in the opposite direction, Rose's eyes met his and it was almost like electricity … that look again. Those large and expressive dark brown eyes took him by start, but of course she was not looking at him in the same way. This Rose did not know him and it pained him a bit, but then that was to be expected.

One thing he did notice though as he stood there making small talk with the girl was that she did not shy away from his advances. Unable to control his desire to feel a part of her again, The Doctor took a lock of her hair in his fingers, a decision he instantly regretted. Although, Rose's lack of shock at his closeness caused him to wonder … was it possible she felt something … maybe knew …

He shrugged this hope off not long after it entered his hearts. No, it was best to leave this situation and not think more into it, but then just like he was bound to do The Doctor faltered by calling out her name. This flub made their situation all the more precarious and rather than answering her question of how he knew her name with a simple, "I looked at the ID in your purse." Like any fool would, he had to push that snowball of trouble further down the hill and make it larger.

"Well, I'm a friend of The Doctor. He sent me here to help you get back to him."


	6. Chapter 6

Love could make you do crazy things. It definitely made The Doctor react in the opposite way he should have. What was love anyway? It was an emotion that kept him from doing what he needed to. When he ought to have been looking at a situation logically, the way he always had before, The Doctor instead reacted impulsively, without thinking of consequence. For so many years he had lived his constant life with the same determination of focusing solely on his mission as a Time Lord. Helping those in need was his main objective and yet, somehow he had fallen in love. It had been a long while since he had felt that feeling. Perhaps age had made him more vulnerable to emotions. Over 900 years old and love had finally found him again.

Now love was causing him to be reckless by giving him the idea to create a story about being a friend of The Doctor. After the fabrication was out of his mouth, he expected to feel panic, a reaction that would have fit the situation. Except to his bewilderment he found that he fancied the chaos. A sort of giddy sensation was building inside him as the risk of what he said took hold. The lie would no doubt create a difficult situation, an unstable balance in the universe and still The Doctor did not care. He was finally letting go. After all it was the way he had always wished he could have been when Rose was originally his companion inside the TARDIS, the two of them having grand adventures together and falling in love. How he longed to have been reckless enough then by saying what he should have when it was actually an option for them … love.

He loved her. It was an emotion that never went away and he noted that by creating this lie it gave him an excuse to stick around. Rose would be forced to pay attention to him, the way she had before … the way he wished she would now. He had recognized that look of love from Rose over and over during their time together and yet he had never reciprocated … if only he could see it one more time in her eyes. It still haunted him to this day that he had never expressed his feelings for her. Without question if he could do it all again, The Doctor would burn up another sun only to say those words to her, "Rose Tyler, I love you."

He thought back to how quickly adoration for the girl had transformed into a deep love. A single hand hold had lead to greater moments together, traveling side by side, her concern for others winning him over originally. But, he had many long and lonely days after Rose was gone to remember and maybe just obsess a little over the exact moment he knew that love had come into his life again. She had done something reckless, something foolish for the love of her father. Her actions had nearly caused The Doctor to be erased from time and space. Still he could not be angry with her. She was prone to mistakes, especially with that large heart of hers and The Doctor knew that he would never be able to be cross with her. Even if his life was on the line, Rose would always hold his hearts.

"The Doctor … you know The Doctor?" Rose paused as if digesting his lie, but then when the girl continued her voice was full of doubt, "What sort of game are you playing at? How do know _him_?" She was shaking her head as if the information he had given her was too much to handle.

He quickly pulled himself from the deep thoughts he was having, which of course had only taken a few seconds … large brain and all, and then managed to take the brunt of Rose's mistrusting look. It wasn't what he had been hoping for at all, but he wasn't a familiar face The Doctor had to remind himself.

"Oh, yes, we go way back … old chums from our school days. You know playing in the park, fighting over girls, drinking beverages that were not meant to be drunk when we the young age of 100 … all that chummy stuff. We were great at it, lots of fun. But, yes … uh, he sent me here now, because he knows you want to get back to him and he wants you to be there … stupid mistake sending you back. Yeah … that's right. That's what he said. So, let's get cracking."

The Doctor was making it up as he went along, not really sure of himself or what he planned to do. There was the main purpose of making sure Rose found her way back to his old pre-regeneration self by looking into the heart of TARDIS. This all happening, of course, after realizing she was The Bad Wolf. He knew he could accomplish this by recalling the story Rose had told him after finding her way back to him. Well, it had taken Rose a little while before she felt comfortable relating the whole of it to a man with a new face. The Doctor remembered that even months after his regeneration he would occasionally catch Rose looking in stores that sold men's leather jackets. She never bought anything, but he suspected her reason behind it.

Now The Doctor was completely different again and this time it was imperative that she not know who he was. He hated that he couldn't tell her, but there was no other way. He had to simply enjoy his short time with her and move on. That's all he ever could do in his life … move on.

"Are you telling me that you grew up with The Doctor? Wouldn't that make you a Time Lord like him? If that's the case then I'm pretty sure The Doctor mentioned how he was the last of his kind? So, you're lying and just completely cocked up whatever plan it was you had."

"Oi, Rose! What a mouth. I've never heard you use that phrase before." The Doctor blurted out only recognizing too late his mistake.

"How would you even know? We've only just met?" Rose said warily while beginning to back away, a furrowed brow conveying the uneasiness she felt with him.

The Doctor's mind quickly raced into its archives for the right words that would quiet the girl's unrest. He had to think fast or otherwise lose her. He decided to take on an authoritative tone. It was better than looking so daft. Rose responded to courage, not someone who tripped over his words. It was the reason she had been so easy to draw away from her boyfriend, Mickey. The Doctor had been confident, while in contrast Mickey had been unsure of himself.

Taking in a good, deep breath for good measure, The Doctor let lose with his sternest of voices, "Look Rose Tyler. The Doctor sent me here and you should know by now, after all the traveling that you've done with him, that time can be rewritten. It's a lot of timey wimey, spacey wasey hullabaloo that I don't have time to explain right now. I just need to get you back to him. Don't you trust me? Don't you trust him?"

Rose eyed him with a suspicious look for a long moment and as she did, The Doctor suddenly felt a slight flutter inside his chest when Rose displayed a habit he had grown accustomed to during their time together. She had this way of placing the tip of her tongue against the corner of her mouth and did this often. It did not matter what the moment was. Whether she was deep in thought, like now or just playfully glancing at him with a flirtatious smile, this tendency was a part of Rose and he smiled as the memory was now right in front of him. It was a trait he often thought of while reminiscing about the things he loved about her.

"Who is she?" Rose asked abruptly, catching The Doctor off guard.

He had expected some sort of request for more information from him, certainly not for her to notice Amy. That's what he assumed Rose meant when she pointed behind him. What other _she_ was near him?

"Oh that's Amy. She's like in you in a way, well, not like you per say, but we travel together just like you do with The Doctor … say hello, Amy."

The Doctor whirled around, waving at his companion. He mouthed the word please to Amy and she dutifully responded with a wave back, although her faced mirrored the same skeptical look Rose was wearing when he turned to face the girl again. "She's come to help you too. We both care about The Doctor and want to make sure you get back with him. He may not tell you this now, but he needs you more than you realize."

Rose sighed, "Yes, I'm sure he does. I need him too." Her eyes moved away from him and The Doctor suspected she did this to hide the tears welling in them.

"Then will you let us help you, Rose?" He tenderly asked, taking one of her hands, drawing her attention back to him.

It pleased him when she did not pull away and he held on, waiting in agony over what her decision would be.

"Okay." Rose finally said in an almost whisper.

"Okay." The Doctor's hearts leapt in unison as a big grin took over the majority of his face, "Okay." He repeated.


	7. Chapter 7

The key.

Rose knew that the one person who had the TARDIS key was someone who wouldn't take her news of trying to get back into the time machine all that well. Add to that the fact she was now in the company of a man, alien, or whatever who claimed to have been a companion of The Doctor and she could foresee the grief she would have to endure from her mum. The girl sighed at the thought of another challenge to face, because of one moment of weakness. At the time, her gesture of giving the key to her mum had been done for the right reason, but even a right reason could be thick in the end.

"Rose, honey, you've been crying for days now … always holding onto that key like maybe it will take you back to him." She remembered her saying.

"It's all I have left of The Doctor." Rose replied through muffled sniffles, her face buried deep into the pillow on her bed.

"Please, Rose, crying won't make him come back. Him bringing you back to me was for the best. Don't you see?" Her mum said while slowly stroking the back of her daughter's head.

No, she didn't see, but at the same time Rose wanted to quell the sadness and hurt resonating in the voice trying to comfort her. The pain she felt was causing another to feel pain and at that moment she decided to pretend if only for her mum's sake. "Here. Take it." Rose suddenly rolled over and held out the TARDIS key in her hand.

"You want me to have this?" Jackie asked, sounding shocked.

Rose nodded, "For safe keeping. Out of sight, out of mind is what they say and hey, maybe that will help me … but please, keep it safe. This key is the only reminder I have of him."

"Of course I will." Leaning down to kiss Rose's forehead, her mum took the key and that was the last Rose saw of it.

She eventually knew that her means of entry into the TARDIS would find its way back to her, but what Rose hadn't known then was just how soon that time would be. Only two days had passed since her hands relinquished the key and now she was rummaging through her mum's bedroom in search of it. So far she was coming up short and Rose let out a frustrated sigh. This meant that there would have to be a confrontation and that was something she was not looking forward to.

"Any luck? I thought I heard a frustrated sigh coming from in here."

Rose jumped at the sound of the voice behind her. Then whirling in surprise, she saw The Doctor's friend standing a few inches away, peering at her inquisitively.

"Oh, wow, you startled me." She said, placing a hand against the racing heart inside her chest.

"Sorry … I could leave and come back in. See, I gave you fair warning. No startling this time, promise." The man said, rushing out of the room and then quickly poking his head back in, "Any luck?" He repeated.

Despite the situation, Rose laughed, "No. No key here. I suppose we'll have to wait until mum comes home."

"Ahhh, a meeting with Jackie Tyler. Can't wait." The man raised his eyebrows and his voice came out sounding sarcastic which made Rose wonder.

This reaction of his seemed to be in step with what The Doctor had done before whenever Jackie was mentioned. "Has The Doctor told you much about my mum?" Rose inquired, "You both seem to have the same response when hearing about her. I mean you know her name, so he must have said something. Nothing good I assume. They never really got along. She can be a handful, but he put up with her … ya know, so we could travel together." The volume of Rose's voice was slowly becoming softer as the awareness of her rambling came to light.

She sometimes did that when her emotions were heightened … rambling Rose they had called her in school. Still there was another reason her words had gradually trailed off. Rose tried not to think about it now, but wasn't able to ignore the fact that for the first time since being forced back home the girl had referred to The Doctor in the past tense. Rose hoped that the man in her company would start talking soon, so that she could ignore the twinge of pain she felt at having to think about The Doctor as part of her past.

To her disappointment, instead of responding, the man seemed to be fidgeting with a bit of loose string on his suit jacket. Rose couldn't be sure, but at any rate it looked like he was stalling and it crossed her mind that perhaps she had embarrassed him. Not wanting to extend an awkward situation, Rose quickly tried to diffuse his perceived uneasiness. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. It's just … I don't know anything about you and here you are … well, you seem to know so much about me, because of The Doctor. I can't stop myself from asking. I can be quite nosy to the point of madness, but I'm sure you already knew that."

Rose giggled tentatively while she absently stared down inside an open drawer of her mum's dresser. It must have at one point been pulled out during her frantic search for the key.

"You're right." He replied after a few minutes of silence between them, "I'm sure it's very frustrating to place your trust in me when I'm such a mystery."

"Not the first time I've done it though, right?" Rose gazed up briefly, a half smile on her lips and she was happy when he returned with his own grin, "I mean I'm sure The Doctor told you how I met him and also left with him without really knowing what to expect."

"Yes, I am aware of that story, but rest assured, Rose, I may have an extensive knowledge of you, but what I do know, well … he … The Doctor, has had nothing, but praise for you. He cares for you and that's one of the main reasons he sent you back. Your safety is everything to him." Her new friend came to stand close enough to where they both were looking at each other with only that open drawer keeping them apart. His eyes looked deeply into hers and Rose couldn't help, but be drawn into the sincerity she saw there.

"Do you have a name?" Rose asked out of the blue … wanting to quickly cut through the odd tension she felt reverberating between them.

It was the same feeling from before when they had stood near each other in the street. She couldn't quite place it, but wasn't able to deny its existence either. There was something strange and familiar pulsating from this man. The sensation pulled her in however it also made Rose uncomfortable. Why should she sense a connection to this person at all? Rose barely knew him or did she?

"Call me Mathew if you want, Mathew Smith or maybe just Smith. Yes, I fancy being called Smith." He replied, tapping his index finger against that prominent chin of his and staring into the distance beyond Rose's head, seemingly going off on a journey through his own jumbled mind, something she had noticed him doing before.

Rose reached across the drawer and offered her hand for a shake, "Such a very human name, easily remembered. Okay, Smith. I'm Rose Tyler. Nice to meet you."

He took her hand and gave it a firm shake, "Alright, Rose Tyler. What do you say we close this drawer full of you mother's unmentionables and go wait for her in the living room. You can ring her can't you? She does use a mobile if I remember correctly and usually I do remember things correctly. "

Rose blushed realizing they both had been standing next to a drawer filled with knickers and then hastily shoved it shut. "Yes, let's go join your companion. I'm sure she's getting bored looking through all those trashy tabloids mum keeps out on the table."

She followed closely behind his bouncy footsteps only stopping when something he had said gradually worked its way through her brain as sounding odd, which of course was an attribute of Smith's. In the short time she had known him, all of an hour, it had become quite clear to her that he did and said odd things, but this time it went a little beyond that, "Wait." Rose said, before the two of them had a chance to reach the door.

Smith spun around, "Yes."

"You said _if you remembered correctly_. How could you remember at all if you've never met my mum. It's the same as before when you presumed to know the way I talk. Just how much has The Doctor told you about me? All these little details … it doesn't seem like him to spill his mind to anyone … least of all me. Why you?"

A flash of panic appeared to move over the man's face, before it was swiftly replaced with a look of confidence. Rose knew she had seen it though, so whatever this Smith had to say in response didn't matter, because it was probably not the entire truth. He was hiding something. She was sure of it now.

"Rose, he's a Time Lord. So, this means he has ways of relating large amounts of information in one quick Time Lordy swoop. Smash things right into the brain." Smith raised his hands to his temples and made an explosion noise with his mouth before shaking his hands up in the air for emphasis.

"Are you from my future? Are you in a future with him and somehow knew I would be here? Can you travel in time too?" Rose was getting more pointed with her questions and she could see that it was causing him to squirm … at least on the inside.

"Hi. I'm Amy. Remember me?" At the sound of another voice in the room both Rose and Smith turned to look towards the open door whose frame was now occupied by the lanky redhead Smith had brought along. "I'm sorry, but do you mind if I borrow my friend here for a moment."

Caught off guard by the sudden appearance of Amy, Rose shrugged.

"Thanks." She smiled in the girl's direction and then turned her attention to Smith, "You, come with me outside. Now." Amy ordered.

Her friend responded with uncertainty in his tone, "Yes, ma'am?"

Then Amy ushered Smith out the door and Rose followed, watching as they both left through the main entrance of the flat leading to the outside. The man's companion all but pushed him during this and Rose could hear Smith complain, "Hey, not so rough, Pond." just as the door shut behind them.

Feeling no shame in eaves dropping, Rose put her head near the cat flap that hadn't been used for a real cat in years and lifted it a bit. She could barely make out the sight of Smith and Amy standing a few doors down, seemingly having an intense conversation. She wondered what they were talking about. The words "It's too late." floated her way only, because Smith had all but shouted them.

"Who are you?" Rose said softly to herself.

"Last I checked I was you mum, but now can you answer a question for me? Why is your head halfway through the cat flap?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note**: Thanks always to Aly for helping me with this fic and to those that continue to read.

* * *

"Look, everything is going to be fine." The Doctor blurted out before Amy had the chance to let into him, like he could sense she was going to, like he knew she would.

Then naturally, in a very Amy-like move, her jaw dropped and resembled a face The Doctor recognized well. It had been used before whenever she was astounded by him. Only this time it wasn't shock over some clever problem he was able to prevail against. No, he knew the girl was surprised at his very obvious lie. He discerned this, because he was stunned as well. What an awful liar he had been throughout this whole thing.

"Haven't you created enough tall tales for one day?" Amy retorted, "Things are not fine. Rose is becoming more curious and I'm beginning to think that this plan of yours is actually no plan at all, but just the plotting of a lovesick boy who, because of circumstances beyond his control, cannot get the girl. Where do you plan on ending up with all of this?"

A bit of arrogance stirred within The Doctor as he took in Amy's words. He did not like how she was talking down to him, saying that he wasn't able to control things. Last time he checked he was a Time Lord. Of course, circumstances weren't beyond his control. He was always in control. "I have a perfectly good plan that will leave everything the way it should be."

_Another lie._

Amy crossed her arms across her chest and fell back against the wall of the building. Her face was no longer in shock, but wore more of a confrontational look, "And was it in your plan to let Rose fiddle with the TARDIS entrance before realizing she needed the key to get inside? Wasn't it a few hours ago that I saw you open it with a simple snap of your fingers? Admit it. You're stalling as a means of spending more time with her. This isn't just a trip to show me that you can't be with me, because of Rose. It's now turned into some living fantasy for you … to spend time with her again. Well, I don't think you can carry on this way much longer. We need to leave, before you mess up her past any further."

The Doctor knew Amy's reasoning was spot on. It was one of the main reasons he had chosen her for a companion, well, besides the fact he had crash landed in her front yard, of course. She was able to see the larger picture through it all and in this instance the girl was right. Admitting this to her was the hard part. Even harder was admitting to himself how badly he had messed up Rose's past, going against centuries of Time Lord wisdom.

"Doctor, did you hear me?" Amy asked when he didn't respond to her right away, "I said we need to leave."

Oh, this was unbearable. In the words of Rose, he really _had_ cocked everything up. "It's too late!" He shouted back at Amy after she began poking him in the chest with her finger to illicit some sort of reaction.

"Did you really need be so loud and dramatic like… as if we need anymore attention on us?" Amy responded under her breath, taking a finger to the inside of her ear and shaking it as if The Doctor had burst her eardrum.

"Now who's being dramatic?" The Doctor huffed at first, but his face quickly sobered and he came around with a good natured pat on Amy's shoulder, "But yes, sorry about the noise. It's not usual for me to be the reason a situation has gone awry. I'm angrier with myself than you for pointing out the truth, so yes, terribly repentant for the whole yelling loudly at you thing."

Amy nodded and took a hold of one of his hands, "Look, I get it. I really do. You don't think I know how it feels to have my heart broken? I seem to recall expecting a certain Doctor to return when he said he would. I waited for so long outside with my suitcase packed and you know what, it hurt so bloody much when I eventually realized you weren't coming back. Even at my young age, I knew my heart had been broken, but I also moved on in my own way and you have to as well, Doctor. I don't suggest creating an imaginary friend or making dolls in Rose's image similar to what I did, but there are ways of getting past this and I can help. I'll be here for you in whatever regard you need me. If that means just as a friend then so be it."

The Doctor was quiet for a bit, lost in reflection, wondering if perhaps his short appearance in Amy's life had caused the girl to become so wise and very Time Lord like. He couldn't help, but compare her to Rose. They were both possessed very different personality traits, but yet carried with them the same compassion and insight that was well beyond the average human's capabilities, "Pond, what would I do without you?" He asked and he truly meant it … she needed him as much as he needed her.

Amy shrugged and smiled impishly, while The Doctor patted her head. "Now can we get back to the subject at hand?" She asked, returning them to the present.

"I suppose that would be wise." He concluded.

"Well, let's start out with what you said. Why can't we leave? If we run off now Rose won't have you around anymore to accidentally reveal that you are her Doctor. She probably won't forget you, but since you don't look at all like The Doctor she knows, your short appearance will just seem to be a glitch in the world for her. She won't be able to figure out you two are one and the same ... but only if we leave now."

The Doctor shook his head in response, having already come up with a plan that was quite opposite from Amy's, "Don't you see that's precisely what we shouldn't do. We can't run away and simply hope our little excursion into her life doesn't keep her from the right path. She needs to know. That's the only way I can make sure the events of her future will take place exactly as they did before." The Doctor turned around and leaned his chest against the railing that overlooked the tenant's parking spots below, "Oh Amy, Rose was so important. She saved the world more than once and I cannot predict what would happen to us or anyone on this planet if she doesn't follow the course she was meant too, the one I so severely messed up today"

"And you don't think telling her will keep her from that path?" Amy responded doubtfully, coming up to stand beside him.

The Doctor turned his head to look at the girl to his right, "Not at first. If she knows the whole story then she will understand how important it is for her to do exactly as I say. Besides there is this little trick I have. After I know Rose is on her way back to my other self, I can wipe her memory of us. It will be as if you and I never existed and we can leave knowing full well that my little mistakes here today will have no effect on her future."

"Well, that's not something you can't expect her to freak out about. Do you think you'll be able to get a word past, _I am the Doctor only I have a new face now,_ before she throws you out the door on your bum?" Amy asked with a grimace.

The Doctor scoffed at Amy's intentionally horrible imitation of his voice, "I don't sound like that and besides, it's called regeneration. All Time Lords can do this when we are near death. We don't simply change faces like _Oh, I think I'm going to buy myself a new mug today. I want one with a bigger chin, eh_." He corrected her to which Amy responded by rolling her eyes.

"But yes, another trick I have will solve this problem. I call it mind melding, because well, I don't think there ever was a proper term for this Time Lord talent. Well, maybe there was a name long ago, but I've been calling it mind melding so long, because it sounds fantastic, don't you think? Anyway, I've forgotten the correct word, but that's beside the point. You see if I touch you here," The Doctor reached out with both hands and placed his fingers against Amy's temples, "I can show you anything I've ever experienced."

Closing his eyes, The Doctor concentrated on a single memory, one Amy wouldn't mind experiencing, and after his mind decided on a particular event, he felt a measured vibrating sensation flow through his fingers into Amy's mind.

"Wow. It's someone eating fish fingers and custard …" She paused for a moment and then laughed slightly, "It's you! You're eating the fish custard I served."

"Yes, with this simple tool, I will be able to show Rose exactly what I remember her doing when she defeated The Daleks and more images if need be." The Doctor said, lowering his hands away from Amy.

A beam spread across The Doctor's face at the thought that he might actually be able to fix the disorder and chaos he had created, but as his was forming Amy's began to fade and her brows furrowed, "Doctor, if you had this ability all along, I don't understand why you didn't just show me what you experienced with Rose by doing this mind melding thing instead of taking me here."

The question shocked The Doctor and he shook his head, not entirely sure himself why the decision had been made to take the complex route. The idea of mind melding hadn't even occurred to him and he wondered if perhaps his goal all along was to use Amy as a reason to visit Rose. He hadn't ever had justification before to go into Rose's past, only visiting that one time to say goodbye from the shadows, before his eventual regeneration.

Dreams of coming back again whispered to him on more than one occasion and he was realizing at that moment the awful truth. He had been selfish and sadly used Amy. Her advances put him in a place he hadn't been in a long time … the feel of physical love from another and it had worried him enough to want to get back to Rose. "Honestly, it was poor judgment on my part." The Doctor admitted, "I made a hasty decision that I convinced myself was for you, but actually was more about me fulfilling something I yearned to do. I'm sorry, Amy … it was wrong, so very wrong."

Amy lifted up The Doctor's chin with a quick movement of her hand. His face had fallen during the confession of her being used and she wanted to make eye contact to get her point across, "Look, I'm not going anywhere, whether you use me as a means to get back to your true love or not. I'm a big tough girl. I can take a few hits to my self esteem." She said and then finished by slugging him in the shoulder, which inevitably caused The Doctor to yell out in pain.

"Oi, what'd you do that for?" He asked, smarting from the bruise Amy's fist no doubt had left.

The girl smiled playfully, "As a warning to let you know I will always forgive you, but there are consequences."

He glowered at her, but Amy only continued to grin. "Well, off we go then. You have some mind melding to do." She said, wistfully turning around and skipping in the direction of Rose's flat.


	9. Chapter 9

The shock of hearing her mum's voice coming from above caused Rose to jerk her head up and inevitably bash it into the top side of the cat flap, 'Ow." She whimpered and then slowly receded back inside the flat.

Seconds later Jackie Tyler came through the door and swiftly covered her daughter with concerned hands trying to examine the injury, "Are you alright, Rose? What a silly thing to do. Why on earth would you have your head halfway out the cat flap? Do you have a concussion? Really, Rose dear … what were you thinking?"

Rose gently pushed her mum away, "I'm fine, really. Just a bump, I'm sure. No need to take me to the emergency room for an x-ray." She joked, but the look on her mother's face caused Rose to think that Jackie might actually be serious about a hospital visit. "Really, mum … it's nothing."

"Yeah, nothing." Jackie sighed dejectedly, moving past her daughter to enter the kitchen.

Worried about her mum's reaction, Rose followed suit and came up behind her, "What? Don't you believe me?"

Jackie's back was to Rose, her hands resting against the counter top as if she needed its support in order to stand. This posture combined with her mum's overly protective response, made the girl wonder why such a small thing as a bump to the head would upset her. She patiently waited and eventually her mum turned around, although the expression that greeted Rose was not one she had hoped to see. Jackie appeared tired, worried and sad, "I'm sorry, Rose. Of course, I believe you, but you also can't blame me for being extra motherly to you right now."

"What do you mean?" Rose asked cautiously, not wanting to upset her mum any more than she already appeared to be.

"What do I mean?" Crossing her arms across her chest and raising one of her eyebrows in response, Jackie pursed her lips before continuing, "Well, let's go over some of the events of this past year, shall we? You go missing for months without a trace and when you do come back, I find you've been shacking up with some alien. You expect me to just accept that you'll be flying off in this little blue box with him, only popping in for a little hello from time to time. Then when I finally get you back, because he sent you here to save your life, you can't accept it. I feel like … I feel like I've lost you, Rose and even when you're not with him, you still are up there." Jackie tapped her daughter's forehead, "I lost your dad years ago and I don't want to lose you too. Rose, this is our second chance and I'm not going to let that alien keep you hostage inside your brain."

Rose opened her mouth to protest, but was unable to get a word in to counter her mom's rant before Jackie began again, "Don't try to defend him. For as much good as you say he did for you, I'd say he did an equal amount of bad … becoming, so dependent on a man. I mean what was today all about, running out on Mickey and me, because you couldn't bare to be with only us and not have The Doctor be near too. It's sad, Rose. Trust me. You can be just as strong on your own. Isn't that how I raised you … on my own?" Jackie took a second to draw in a breath and then muttered to herself, "I swear if I see that man again it will be too soon."

Rose couldn't blame her mum for the mini-tirade she exposed her too. From Jackie's point of view, everything she said was spot on at least from the perception of a mother. Yet, even if she could understand the why behind the rant, that didn't mean Rose had to accept it without incident. Rose's blood had been set to boil from the start of all the negative things Jackie had spouted about The Doctor and as soon as her mum was finished talking the girl found it in herself to shout back, "I love him. I love The Doctor. Yeah, that's right you heard me," Rose said when she saw her mum's mouth drop, "I love The Doctor and I don't care who hears it. You're not going to change that either, so you might as well get used to it, mum. I'm not giving up on him. I can't, because I love him. I love The Doctor!" Rose added one more time for emphasis.

"Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

Both women in the kitchen jerked their heads to the entryway, which now contained the frame of a tall man, one that Rose recognized, but Jackie did not. His was the voice that had interrupted Rose's declaration about The Doctor and suddenly the girl felt her cheeks turning the color of her namesake. Quickly she averted his semi-amused stare and examined the tile beneath her shoes.

"Excuse me? Who are you and why are you in my kitchen?" Jackie asked rather testily.

The man grimaced slightly, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought Rose here might have explained who I was. I'm The … Matthew Smith." The man seemed to stumble over his words.

"The Matthew Smith? Is that your title? Are you so famous that you have to add _The_ in front of your given name?" Rose's mum snickered back.

Rose pulled herself out from the tongue tied embarrassment she felt and came to Mr. Smith's aid, "Mum, stop it. He's sort of a friend, so you don't need to give him the full on Jackie Tyler interrogation."

Jackie huffed at her daughter's accusation, "Oh, if I was interrogatin' this man would know and if he's your friend then why have I never met him before? What gives him the right to just walk in here unannounced? This is my flat after all. I would say some knocking on the door might be appropriate."

Mr. Smith came to stand in front of Jackie and offered his hand, "Yes, well … I have the capability of being rude or so I've been told by others, lacking that special common sense and or sensitivity chip in my head at times, I do apologize. Nice to meet you Jackie Tyler, Rose has told me so much about you."

Reluctantly, Jackie took the man's hand and gave it a curt shake, "Has she now? Well, Rose has told me absolutely nothing about you or the red head you've brought." She replied, indicating Amy who was standing a few feet behind Mr. Smith. "What's going on here, Rose?" She asked, her voice accusatory.

"Nothing, mum. I was just about to leave. We're going to the cinema and I told them the door would be unlocked and to come right in." Rose lied, "I hardly think that's reason to get so upset."

Jackie looked unconvinced, "Is this something to do with The Doctor?" She asked, eying her daughter with a stern stare.

"Mum, stop embarrassing yourself. It's a harmless night out … something I'm actually quite capable of. Now if you'll excuse me." Rose moved past her mother and quickly linked arms with Mr. Smith to usher him out the door.

"Now hold on a bloody minute … Rose, Rose, you come back here." Jackie called after the trio as they exited through the door, but her daughter's only reply was to wave goodbye.

Rose continued at a fast pace until the building containing her angry mum was far from view. When she finally felt they were at a safe enough distance to not be followed, the girl stopped to catch her breath.

"Well, we certainly averted an unpleasant situation back there." Rose heard Mr. Smith say from next to her.

She glanced at him warily and cleared her throat as a means of gathering the courage required to articulate what needed to be said, "Yes, my mum can be rather prickly at times, but that doesn't mean you, Mr. Smith, are out of the clear from me. I still want to know what you aren't telling me. I know there's something about you, something that I need to be told before I will continue on your supposed mission of helping me get back to The Doctor. Don't give me anymore round about ways to the truth either. I want it given to me straight."

Feeling proud at being able to showcase a part of her personality that was similar to her mum's hard edge, Rose imitated the move Jackie had used only a few minutes before when she had crossed her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow. "And that's that." She added.

Mr. Smith seemed to fidget with his tweed jacket, much like Rose had seen him do before and the girl wondered if this was it … was he refusing to respond and was she therefore throwing away her only chance of getting back to The Doctor. The resolve she felt began to waiver slightly. Waiting for him to say something was maddening, so much so that she had to fight the urge to take back her words, "So, what's it going to be?" She said, trying to force the man to respond.

Rose looked at him with worried eyes and he looked back with words seemingly caught in his throat. They stood like that for what felt like so much longer than it actually was. Ultimately, it was Amy who came around to saving Rose from anymore frustration at Mr. Smith's lack of talking. She edged her way between them and grasped Rose's hand as well as her companion's. Then she linked them, forcing the two to touch. "Tell her in the way that only you can." She said quietly to Mr. Smith and then melted away into the background, leaving Rose connected with the man.

He sighed and then to Rose's relief Mr. Smith spoke,"Yes, well, I suppose I have to do this in an unfamiliar way, so forgive me, Rose if this comes as a shock." He said, grasping her other hand in his, "If you don't mind though, I'd like to do this away from prying eyes."

The man glanced around at the few people who were going about their business, seemingly unaware of them and then turned back to look at Rose, "They might not notice us now, but trust me if you want the truth … the whole truth, then I'll have to show you in a way that might be conspicuous. Do you mind if we move to that alley way over there?"

Rose couldn't help the skeptical look she knew was showing on her face. Common knowledge and street smarts told her that going somewhere isolated with a man she hardly knew was cause for trouble or even worse. Yet, standing there and staring into those deep green pools that were Mr. Smith's eyes, she could only see sincerity. It was a look that reminded her of The Doctor and the girl found herself shrugging off the nagging voice of reason inside her head. "Okay." Rose responded.

"Let's go." He led her away and once they were alone, barricaded in by both sides of the narrow alleyway walls that smelled of piss and vomit, Mr. Smith commented, "Sorry, not the best of places, but it will have to do."

Rose noticed Amy standing watch near the opening of the alley way, which reminded her of another time Mr. Smith's friend had been standing a few feet away from them. This memory compelled Rose to request something of Mr. Smith before he did what she wasn't sure he was going to, "I'm sorry, I know it's silly, but I'm embarrassed that you heard me say what I did to my mum earlier. If we do eventually make it back to The Doctor and you see him, please don't mention what you heard me say."

Mr. Smith's face contorted into what looked like a mixture of a grimace and smile before he replied, "I'm sorry, Rose. It's too late for that." And with those words he placed both of his hands against her temples causing the girl's vision of the outside world to cease.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note** - Thanks to all who reviewed my last chapter and demanded I update soon. Sorry for that cliffhanger, but it did motivate me to get this out to you all before I leave for vacation (a vacation without computers or internet access, oh my). Also thanks to my beta Aly for her continued support through this fic. What would I do without you?

* * *

Deciding on what exactly to show Rose was a complicated decision for The Doctor. All he was sure of was that she needed be taken through both his regenerations since he'd left behind the Time Lord this Rose knew … and remembering what he had witnessed earlier in her flat coupled with her request a few seconds ago, a Time Lord she also apparently loved.

A slow smile crept across his face at the recollection of her declaration. He hadn't been able to control himself when he had burst into the middle of Rose expressing her feelings for him. It was a silly moment of pride. Rose was admonishing her mum for not being supportive of her love and The Doctor had thrust himself onto the scene as if to proclaim his own "Ha! Take that!" to Jackie, but of course it was all a selfish act, because Rose really wasn't talking about _him. _That was plain to see when she flushed red and wouldn't meet his eyes. No, thick-headed Doctor … it wasn't you and the slight sting of that awareness reminded him of what needed to be done. No more experiencing time with Rose simply to experience it. Things had to be set right and he was about to take that first step, but how would she respond?

The topic of regeneration was never one he had broached with Rose until it was absolutely necessary. He remembered his reason why, but now that he had the wisdom of hindsight, The Doctor was kicking himself for being so apprehensive about the whole thing. Regeneration was something he had kept from her for fear she might leave. If Rose knew it was a probability that he might change his appearance and have no say in the matter would she still find him appealing? The memory of her asking to be taken back home, minutes after witnessing one of his physical transformations, was still fresh in his mind. That was a feeling of rejection he could never forget. Still it was all very much like being a young infatuated fool afraid his girlfriend might break up with him … how very human. Naturally it was Rose who was capable of drawing out those feelings, making the Time Lord very unlike his own species.

_Rose, you made me more like you._

"I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, but were you intending to actually do something other than cause me to go blind. I'm starting to worry. Is this how it's supposed to happen, because I can't see a thing?" The Doctor heard Rose ask, inevitably forcing him to pick out a memory and stop moping about what her reaction might be.

"Yes, just warming up the old hands. Hold on there and here weee gooooo." He stalled and then focused in on an image of them inside The TARDIS just as Rose was waking up from her collapse after he had pulled the Time Vortex from her.

"I sang a song and The Daleks ran away." The Doctor heard his old self joke inside his now shared memory with Rose and he chuckled at his ability to make light of a dire situation. _That_ character trait never went away, did it?

Then centering away from what he was projecting onto the girl, The Doctor tried to sense if there was anything amiss inside her. During their time together, he had become closely attuned with Rose and so, using his capabilities the best he could, The Doctor tried to sense heightened emotions, a sharp intake of breath, tightening of heart muscles, or an accelerated blood flow coming from Rose. After his quick sweep, he could only conclude that she was calm, probably not completely aware of what was going on. He knew it was a memory, because the experience was his. Rose on the other hand had not been exposed to this part of her life yet.

He waited and eventually Rose gave him the reaction he was expecting. It came after she saw the first sign that something was wrong with her Doctor. "Stay back." He had yelled to her in the memory and that's when he heard the Rose that was with him in the here and now gasp, "Oh no."

"Is everything alright?" The Doctor asked carefully, wanting to calm Rose and circumvent any negative effects from the mind melding.

It was a precarious thing he was doing by showing the girl these memories. He knew they were nearing the part of his recollection that would be the most difficult for her to take in and he wanted Rose safe from experiencing too many emotions at once. "Is what you're showing me … is this going to happen or am I seeing something that's already taken place, but don't remember?"

She didn't ask if he was creating false images for her to see and he was glad for that. It meant trust was beginning to form between them. "This is the future, Rose. It's what's going to happen. I know, because … well, you'll see."

The part of the memory that The Doctor had been dreading was soon upon them and Rose's response was not a surprise. "Is The Doctor dying?" She asked quietly as if unsure of her own voice or the answer she might get, "Am I to go back and save him? He's … Oh, Doctor." Rose abruptly cried out upon seeing him engulfed in flames.

She stumbled away from the man across from her, inevitably losing the connection they shared. When her eyes came back into focus they fell on the only person who could answer the meaning behind such a horrible future. "What's happened to him?" She sobbed, the tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Please, come back. I assure you he's fine." The Doctor slowly approached Rose, offering his hand, "You pulled away too soon." His use of a soothing voice caused some of the girl's panic to subside and she let him pull her back in.

Quickly blinking away the pools of water that had begun forming in her eyes, Rose cleared her throat and replied, "I'm sorry. Go ahead. If you say he's fine, well … he must be fine." Then she took both his hands and placed them against the side of her head again. "Ready." She said, trying her best to grin, but coming up a smidge short of a true smile.

"Ready." The Doctor repeated, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat during Rose's alarm.

He didn't like to see her in pain and knowing that there would only be more for her to experience the more he revealed, caused a slow ache to start building inside his chest. Trying to ignore the sensation he felt, The Doctor pushed through the memory of him turning into the more svelte and uppity hair version on himself. "It's called Regeneration, Rose. It's what happens to a Time Lord when he's near death. He is able to survive, but unfortunately becomes physically different and slightly changed personality wise, but he's always the same man." He said to her still continuing to channel his past and Rose's future into her mind.

"There's one more thing I would like to show you." He continued and moved onto his next regeneration.

Rose did not reject the new scene, but he could hear her sniffling and recognized the sounds of crying. She was putting on a brave front, by accepting what he showed, but that didn't mean she wasn't affected by it.

The Doctor didn't feel the need to take Rose through much of this memory and moved on swiftly to the end. He couldn't help, but cringe at the sight of him crying out, "I don't want to go." And then that version of him was gone, left behind was the Time Lord he was now. Once the scene faded to black, The Doctor pulled his hands away from Rose, anxious to see her face. His movements were probably too fast, but now that he was done The Doctor needed to see how the girl had weathered the big reveal. "Rose," He spoke timidly, "Do you understand what I've just shown you?"

The girl's mouth was slightly parted in shock and her vision came to rest on his face, her eyes widening with recognition, "You're him." Was her only reply.

"Yes, I am The Doctor, but how are you feeling?" He asked.

Worry was taking a hold of him. She wasn't saying much of anything about the experience he had journeyed through with her. He had seen the symptoms before, although had foolishly assumed Rose would be strong enough to fight off this negative reaction to mind melding. Her brain was shutting down temporarily as a form of protection from the overload of all she had seen. "Rose, Rose … look at me. Stay with me." He placed both of his hands on either side of her face and brought it close to his, "You are strong enough to handle this."

_Too much too soon._

"What? I feel fine." Rose stated matter-of-factly and then much to The Doctor's dismay the girl promptly fainted into him.

His arms instantly went around Rose's torso as a means of holding her upright against him and as he did this his brain scrambled to come up with a good solution to this predicament he now found himself in. Then suddenly, The Doctor heard at the sound of footsteps approaching. "What's wrong with her?" Amy said coming to stand at his side.

"She couldn't handle it. I thought she would be fine … I mean after everything we've been through together, I didn't think this would happen. It was such a long shot, but I miscalculated … how could I miscalculate? It's Rose … I would think that in this case, especially with her, I would know. I should have known." He was rambling and was aware that his words were racing out of his mouth at a rate far too fast for Amy to understand.

"Doctor, stop. Whatever it is, I'm sure there is a way for you to figure this out. Please, you have to calm down. It won't help her in the least for you to be out of sorts over this." Amy appealed to his common sense while placing one of Rose's arms over her shoulder, trying to help The Doctor keep the girl upright.

"No. Don't touch her." The Doctor said, through clenched teeth, his words coming out harsher than he'd intended.

His response was a product of the emotional turmoil he now found himself spiraling in, but after the words were out of his mouth he was instantly horrified at what he had done. Amy reacted to his harsh demeanor, by taking a step backward and placing her arms firmly at her side. The expression on her face showed the shock and also hurt she felt, "I'm sorry. I was only trying to help." She whispered, lowering her eyes to the ground.

The Doctor shook his head, "No, don't apologize, Amy. I'm the one who should be doing that. I'm sorry for all that I've put you through today and tonight as well." He said, noticing as he talked the darkness that had taken over during his time with Rose in the alley-way.

She looked up at him and nodded. The Doctor took this as her way of accepting his remorse for the wounding words and then he continued, "I'm far from perfect as I'm sure you know by now and I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, you know that right? You keep me on the right track and well, I need you to do that for me right now. Can you be strong for both of us, because I'm feeling very weak at the moment?"

"Of course, I'll always be here for you … even when you're a git." Amy responded.

Her name-calling at any other time would more than likely have been a tease, but at that moment The Doctor could sense a bit of truth behind Amy's choice of insult. He had been a git to her and would have to make it up to her somehow after their situation here was resolved. "I guess I deserved that."

Amy sent him a half-hearted smile and then let the subject slide by turning her attention back to Rose, "So, what do we do now? Will she be okay?"

The Doctor's eyes fell on the face of the girl resting her head against his chest. She was breathing, alive and well. Rose only needed time. That was all. "She'll wake up, eventually. As to when that will be, I can't tell. It could be a few hours or days, but her mind will come round when it's able."

"What should we do until then? Maybe, take her back to the TARDIS?" Amy suggested.

"Nah, much too dangerous. Her mum might come looking for her and believe me I've already experienced the wrath of Jackie Tyler when her daughter was missing … not a pretty sight." The Doctor said, still smarting from the remembered pain of the slap he'd received from Rose's mum, "Amy, remember when I asked you to be strong for me?"

"Uh, yeah … that was like one minute ago." She replied.

The Doctor sighed not believing what he was about to say, "Well, I'll need to take you up on that, because we're going to have to take Rose back to her mum."


	11. Chapter 11

Constant darkness had surrounded Rose for awhile and even if she wasn't sure why it was there, the girl did know that the thickness of black wasn't budging anytime soon. Gone was her expectation to come out of whatever place this was. For now all that could be done was to patiently wait. As to what that waiting would eventually lead to, Rose hadn't a clue since she wasn't completely clear on where here was.

The thought that she might have been sleeping crossed her mind, but Rose ultimately figured if this was the case then she wouldn't have been able to hear the sounds of life around her. Sometimes there would be a voice or voices talking and Rose particularly remembered the loud racket of a fight right after her decent into the dark void. A man and a woman had a row, but after that things had settled down into the sounds of everyday life. Her ears would hear things like the screech of a chair's legs scraping the floor as it was being moved or the microwave oven dinging to let whoever was using it know that their food was ready. Other times it was the loo being flushed or water running through pipes and after awhile it became apparent to Rose that these were all familiar to her, because they came from the flat she shared with her mum. This knowledge gave her some sense of peace. In her home she felt safe and it made her experience in the darkness a little less frightening.

Although, these noises of comfort were sporadic at best and after awhile Rose found herself anticipating them, waiting and wanting to hear them, because sadly they were her only reminder of the real world that she wasn't a part of anymore. Then as if someone had sensed her distress about the lack of noise there soon came a constant one, a nearby repetition she began to count on. It was the intake and release of breath from someone else's lungs. That rhythmic sound was there inside her ears and after awhile Rose found herself fixating on it, wondering who the noise came from. Perhaps it was her mum, waiting patiently for her daughter to come out of whatever place she was locked in.

But, deep down she knew that it didn't feel like mum, because before long Rose discovered that hearing wasn't the only sense that worked in this darkness. Her sense of touch kept her even more riveted in knowing who was nearby, because with this ability the girl was able to experience a hand gently stroking her cheek. It was a skin to skin contact that felt very unlike her mum's and was always followed by declarations of love … from a man. At first words weren't something she was fully able to comprehend. They sounded like her head was underwater. Tones and cadences were there, but knowing what was actually being said seemed to be just out of reach. That was until Rose had heard, "I love you." This then was followed by a succession of terms of endearment, each more flattering than the last. What a wonderful way of realizing her hearing worked proper again and yet, who was the one showering her with this affection?

_Mickey?_

No, it couldn't have been him. Her ex-boyfriend had never been all that great with words of love, especially not as poetic as she heard them now, but if not him then who? Rose couldn't think of anyone else that might be brave enough to say such things to her. She wanted to ask, but of course was unable, because of that large mass of nothingness weighing her down.

The answer she was seeking finally came during one of the quieter moments. Rose had been listening to the breathing again, a steady in and out that was her comfort, when she heard another voice begin to talk, this one female. She thought she recognized it, but at the same time wasn't able to locate a picture to match the person who spoke. So, instead she listened and waited for any identification that might click in her brain. It didn't take long for the person to say one word, just one word that brought back a sequence of images, each more telling than the last.

_Doctor_

Her Doctor. Yes, she knew a Time Lord called The Doctor. She had gone off with him in his blue box, explored the world and beyond, but then he had sent her back to save her life. Her emotions were already in so much chaos after her return that she never expected she would be thrown for an even greater loop by his arrival again. He had come back for her only this Doctor was in a different body. The man she knew as Mr. Smith was actually her Doctor, come from the future. With the puzzle finally piecing itself together inside her mind, Rose felt herself gasp quite loudly, which in turn brought about the attention of the other two near her. She knew them both now to be The Doctor and Amy … his new companion. Then just as suddenly as the breath was inhaled so was it expelled in the rush of a shriek. Rose didn't know why she was screaming, only that the need to do so was strong enough that fighting it was impossible.

She heard The Doctor yell her name, trying to be heard over Rose's high pitched cry, and then he was next to her, the feel of his hands pressing against the sides of her face.

"What is it? What have you done to my daughter?" The voice of Jackie rang out from somewhere close by.

"Nothing!" The Doctor answered defiantly, his tone matching the angry one Rose's mum spoke in, "She's coming around that's all. Screaming can be a side effect."

"Move out of the way. Let me take care of this." Jackie demanded.

"You'll only make things worse. You have no idea how to handle a situation like this." The Doctor retorted and Rose heard him walk away, no doubt going off to confront her mum.

"Oh, I'll give you a situation to deal with alright."

"Ugh. Will you both shut it already? My head hurts enough right now without having to hear you two going at each other." Rose said loudly trying to bring their attention back to her.

"Rose!" Both Jackie and The Doctor said in unison.

Then as Rose opened her heavy eyelids and the world around came into focus, she caught sight of her mum and The Doctor a few feet away. All four of them were in Rose's tiny bedroom. The early morning light shone through her window and illuminated everything in a hue of sunny yellow. She was sitting upright on her bed with Amy seated to her right. "Oh, don't mind them. This isn't the first time I've had to hear them arguing. I'm quite sick of it actually. I mean honestly you should have heard them when we first came here with you." Amy said

"Oh, I think I did." Rose replied, "I distinctly remember a man and woman fighting not long after I, well, fell into this coma. Is that where I was this whole time? A coma?"

She looked pointedly at The Doctor, waiting for him to answer her question, but he didn't appear all that able of replying. His mouth was hanging open with a look of utter horror etched into his features and he wasn't responding to her at all. Had she known better Rose might have mistaken him for a wax statue.

"Doctor?" She said and upon hearing her use his name he was able to snap out of whatever stupor he had been in.

"Yes, that's me … I'm The Doctor and I see you remember then what I showed you … in your brain when I touched your head there and yeah … you saw things …"

His speech was becoming incoherent and when he took a moment to pause, Rose opened her mouth to mention this. Only The Doctor began talking again and suddenly it became very clear as to why he was acting so strange, "Yes, well, were you really able to hear everything during your blackout? I mean if you heard us fight then I can only conclude that you could hear anything … anything anyone said to you."

He started to fidget with his bowtie and Rose figured this nervous tick she had seen before of him examining his clothes was probably brought about by the remembrance of all the intimate things he had spoken. When, of course, he had apparently thought she couldn't hear. Well, Rose didn't feel inclined to mention it to him now. Not until they had a moment to be alone. "I heard noises mostly. I knew it sounded like people were talking, but I never could understand them." Rose lied.

"Excuse me! All of this isn't important. I want to know if Rose is fine and that what you did to her hasn't ruined anything inside her brain." Jackie interjected, moving towards the bed, forcing Amy to move and then sitting down next to her daughter, "Honey, can you tell me what two plus two is?"

"3.14" Rose said sarcastically which caused her mum to roll her eyes and The Doctor to snicker.

"Be serious." Jackie demanded.

Rose shook her head, "No, mum why don't you try to be a little less overbearing. I feel fine. I don't think The Doctor would do anything to me that would cause brain damage … at least I don't think." Rose gave him a wayward glance that was half teasing and half not.

At this point there were so many new things she was discovering about the man she thought she had understood well and Rose couldn't help, but feel a little let down. He was able to change his body and apparently came from a future where she had been replaced by another girl. A girl who was about Rose's age and strikingly beautiful in her own right. Rose knew feeling jealous was such a silly thing, but that didn't mean she could keep that emotion from bubbling over. Amy's relationship with Mr. Smith wasn't much of a subject matter before, but now that her relationship was with The Doctor … it held a whole new connotation to Rose.

But, then she remembered his words. The Doctor had spoken them to her while she lay dormant stuck inside her body and although it was something she had hoped for, The Doctor to return her feelings, it also left a lot of unanswered questions. If he loved her still then where was she in his future? Why wasn't Rose a part of that? It also wasn't lost on her that during his second transformation into The Doctor that now stood before her, Rose had not been present like she was during the first one she was shown. There were so many questions that wanted to pour out from her, but not here … they had to get away from her mum and Amy. She needed to get him alone.

"Doctor, I'd like to go for a walk outside with you if you don't mind?" Rose said, trying to stand, but faltering slightly as her feet met the floor

This in turn caused her mum to come rushing to her side, "No, out of the question." Jackie stated, holding her daughter upright, "You've been out cold all night and-"

"And what? I need to rest? I think I've done enough of that already, wouldn't you say?" Rose shot back, but then quickly reigned in her venom tongue after taking in Jackie's stricken face. "Look mum, I'm not trying to be difficult, really. I mean look at it from my perspective. Can you do that? I've just learned that this man is The Doctor, but oh wait … he can change his body by way of something called regeneration. Don't you think I need a little time alone with him to discuss this?"

Jackie looked like she had some fight left in her, but conceded to Rose's wishes, "One hour you hear me. One hour and I want you back here or I'll come looking for you." She then turned to face The Doctor, "I may have been able to accept this whole new facade of yours, but even with a different look, I know you're still the same. Don't go running off with her in your time machine without letting me know what's going on."

The Doctor gave her an exasperated look, obviously not liking to take orders from Rose's mum, but nodded nonetheless. He came up besides Rose and taking one of her arms he linked it with his, "I think I can handle it from here, Jackie."

Jackie relinquished her hold on Rose and the girl tumbled slightly into The Doctor. "How are your legs working? Is walking difficult for you? I mean we could always go sit outside."

"I'm fine, thanks." Rose replied and to demonstrate this she pulled herself away from The Doctor and walked out through the open door of her bedroom with little complication, "See. Everything works as it should." She said standing in the door frame.

"I see. Well, Amy do you mind staying here for a bit, so Rose and I …" The Doctor trailed off.

Amy walked over to him and took his hand, something that caused a little stir of jealousy to fill Rose's heart. "Take all the time you need." Amy said, but then retracted when she heard Jackie clear her throat somewhat noisily, "Or I mean an hour is good."

"Thanks, for understanding." The Doctor squeezed Amy's hand and then brought her in closer to whisper, "Sorry I have to leave you here with her."

Amy laughed softly and then shrugged, "Through thick and thin, yeah?"

Watching this exchange caused Rose's resentment towards their relationship to flare and in a moment of impulse she moved away from them. Walking over to the door leading outside the flat, she stood with her back to The Doctor and Amy. "Are you ready, Doctor?"

"Yep, on my way. Let's go." He said, rushing up beside her and grasping Rose's hand.

At the feel of his fingers intertwining with hers, Rose's jealously decidedly dropped to a low simmer. He had always been a hand holder right from the start and even though he may have looked different, the touch of his hand in hers was very much a Doctor thing. She smiled slightly at this and opened the door ready to find out exactly what the hell was going on.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note**: My beta's life has suddenly become too full, so I was wondering if anyone else would be interested in helping me out in that area or if you know anyone that does that sort of thing. Please, message me if you can help.

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He was holding her hand and it was as if nothing had changed. In his mind they were the same Rose and Doctor who had faced time and space together when alternate universes weren't keeping them apart. Her soft skin against his was something he wanted to keep forever. There wasn't anyone else The Doctor yearned to spend his eternity with and yet he could not. Rose wasn't like him. The girl was human and unable to live forever. Beyond that, she had a life to live that he could not interfere with. He didn't want to aggravate her timeline any more to the point that the Reapers might return. The memory of when Rose made them appear by saving the life of her father was still fresh. Only one man kept from dying, and still it had caused such a rift in time that those horrible creatures came forth. The Doctor didn't want to chance them coming again.

Invariably thinking about that part of his past always brought about another memory for him. It was one specifically concerning Rose, because that time-travel trip was the first time he truly let himself believe he'd fallen in love with her. The catalyst had been their argument. They'd fought for the first time over her choice to interfere with her father's death. While they were going at it, daring each other to speak things they may not have otherwise said, Rose revealed her knowledge of his sadness and it hit him as if he'd been slapped in the face. Those words she'd spoken, "I know how sad you are..." caused him to recognize that this one human girl was able to read him better than anyone else he'd come in contact with in a long time. That was when he knew. It was all very clear. They were meant for each other and The Doctor could no longer deny his feelings for Rose. He may have stormed off to recover from their skirmish, but returning to her was always his intention. Leaving Rose was not an option. He loved her.

There was no use denying this love to Rose either. Although she had related to him that words were not clear while she was passed out, it was not what he saw written on her face. The Doctor was able to read Rose just as she could read him, and he was quite aware that questions were soon going to be asked about that love. Her walk with him was simply an excuse to get some privacy, because she had heard everything … every little passage of adoration he'd stupidly spoken went straight into her ears, registered in her brain and now there was no escape from him having to explain those words. He took comfort in the fact that by the end of this trip into Rose's past, her memory would be erased.

There were many times when he assumed the girl was about to begin interrogating him as they continued along, moving further away from the flat and into the crowd of early morning London commuters. She conveyed this with casual glances in his direction as if the questions would spill forth from her any minute. Yet she always pulled back, seemingly thinking better of whatever words were on the tip of her tongue. Her silence was frustrating for The Doctor to the point that when she finally did let words come out of her mouth he anticipated them and nearly cut to the chase. Only what Rose said was not even remotely close to what he'd been expecting, "Do you mind if I pop into this store for a bit. I need to get a few things. Will you be all right out here?"

Rose had come to a halt outside a corner drugstore and it took a second for The Doctor to gather his composure after being caught off guard, "What … uh, no I'll be fine. Are you sure you don't need me to come along?" he asked and then watched as she shook her head and entered the shop.

He stood waiting for her, knowing she was delaying the inevitable and this caused him to become a ball of unadulterated anxiety. Why didn't she just come out and say it, pull back the curtain to reveal the elephant in the room? Telling Rose to her face exactly how he felt was a conversation that was 5 years in the making for him. It wasn't like all those other times he'd told her … those moments stolen while she slept inside The TARDIS, or whenever he used her image for the voice interface of The TARDIS. Although, he'd only done that last one as a means of speaking with her after she was already physically gone from his life. It embarrassed him now to think that he'd actually confessed his love to his TARDIS voice interface while it was dressed up to look like Rose.

_Oh, the things one does while in mourning. _

The Doctor could continue to list off another million and one ways he had expressed his love for Rose to everyone and anything other than Rose herself. None of it mattered now, because this time it was the real thing. He was determined not to mess it up, but he also wanted to just get it over with … let everything be out in the open once and for all.

"Hey there," Rose said as she exited the tiny store, a bottle of water in one hand and the other full of some pain killers.

"You found what you needed?" The Doctor asked, pulling himself from the deep reverie he was in.

"Yep, two pills to take away the headache or so this bottle tells me." She smiled slightly, shaking the pain medication container and glancing at him from under her long lashes.

"Oh, bloody hell Rose, just come out with it already!" The Doctor found himself saying in a rush of emotion, the tension coming forth like the most fantastic moment of release.

Of course, he never intended to actually say that. He was only going to suggest they continue on their walk, but at the last second everything had come out all wrong. He quickly brought one of his hands up to his mouth, covering it as if that would take back the outburst.

Rose's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Pardon?"

"That is … you have a headache?" The Doctor asked, removing his hand to shine her with his most brilliant of smiles as a means of charming away the words he'd said before.

"Yes, I do, but what did you mean … what you said before? What am I supposed to just come out with? Do you want me to ask you about all those things you told me while I was in a coma?" Rose looked up at him unabashedly, almost like a challenge, "I was planning on waiting until this pain in my head went away, but alright have at it. Spill."

The Doctor turned his green eyes downward and a half smile formed on his lips while he took in Rose's reaction. Well, this certainly was a side of her he remembered vividly. The argument between them he'd been thinking of previously now stood before him, the situation a little different, but always the same girl with fire burning below the surface. When he turned his face back up to Rose, The Doctor took a step forward and tentatively encircled her waist in his arms to pull the girl closer. The look she sent him was confused, but also curious.

"Honestly, I'm glad you heard all that, because it's what I've wanted to tell you for ages, but never had the courage to." He drew in a breath and then readied himself for the three words he'd said over and over to her in his head, but never aloud, "I love you."

The Doctor paused for a moment as his hands slowly moved away from her waist and wandered down to her hands where he clasped them tightly in his. "I'm sorry if that was a bit forward, considering you may not be accustomed to my new look, but it's still me, Rose and you can't imagine how much I'd like to follow up that confession with a kiss."

A few seconds after the mention of snogging was out in the open, The Doctor thought better of making such a bold statement too soon and unsuccessfully tried to take it back, "Of course, I wouldn't do that. That is … what a silly thing to say. Yeaaahhhh, can you possibly wipe that last part about the kissing from your memory or maybe you'd like me to do it for you … you know magic hands to the side of your head and all … uh … what was I saying?"

The Doctor clamped his mouth shut before he could utter anything else that might make the girl uneasy and then he sighed at his ridiculousness. He'd flubbed the moment good alright and with a groan of defeat he tried to ignore the frustration he felt at himself for ruining this all important moment. Instead he focused in on Rose's response to his mucked up admission. Amazed, he watched as many emotions ran across the girl's face in all of a single moment, so fast in fact that The Doctor wasn't quite sure which one she had settled upon in the end. He didn't miss a small tear that had escaped the corner of her eye in the process. A tear could mean sadness or happiness and he certainly hoped for the latter. Unfortunately, he wasn't on the receiving end of happiness when Rose pulled her hands from his and then used one to them slap him across the face. This action from her was immediately followed by a heartbroken, "How dare you!"

Barely having a moment to register her reaction or the stares from the onlookers around them, The Doctor quickly found himself in pursuit of Rose after she took off running. "How dare I what? Tell you that I love you? Did that really merit a slap to the face Jackie Tyler style?" He asked, coming up beside the visibly upset girl.

Rose angrily swiped away the tears streaming down her face and stopped to turn and glare at him, "You tell me you love me, but obviously you've come from a future where I'm not with you. No, I've been replaced with this Amy, so either you've sent me back home again for my own good or I'm dead. I know this, because I would never willingly be away from you." Rose stopped talking, so she could pull in a sob, and watching this nearly caused The Doctor to produce one of his own.

"Was I too old for you, Doctor?" Rose continued, "Did I get elderly and you had to replace me with a younger and prettier version? Is that how it is with you? In any case why have you come back … to tell me you love me … I can only assume it's from guilt? You said I needed to get back to The Doctor, but instead I get this. How very selfish of you. How do you expect me to react when you say you love me, but I know you're with Amy now?"

The Doctor was stunned into silence. He never imagined this situation going so terribly wrong. All those years of practice in telling Rose how he felt and it had all gone to hell. Still, he admitted to himself that the reason it became such a mess was because of him. The start of it all could be traced back to his impulsiveness. He was the one who had taken Amy to Rose's past knowing full well how precarious it was to do something like that. He had also been the one to screw everything up so magnificently by involving himself with Rose again instead of staying off to the side as an observer. When he had gone to correct this and set things straight, The Doctor had naturally screwed things up again by being careless with his words.

"So, that's it then? You have nothing to say for yourself?" Rose sniffed.

It was clear to The Doctor that she was trying to gain her composure. Rose didn't want to come out of this looking foolish and it was then in another moment of weakness that he couldn't help himself. It was natural for him to want to care for the girl and without thought he brought up his hands to wipe away the tears Rose was so valiantly trying to stop.

"I can't promise I will never make you cry again, because I know what's coming. I've lived it already." He spoke softly to her and silently rejoiced when she did not reject his closeness, "but I hope you know how much it pains me to see you like this. All those times I imagined myself telling you how I felt and in my mind you always responded with a smile and kiss. How wrong I was. Well, that's beside the point. I don't care anymore about that."

The Doctor shook his head as if silently chastising himself, "You have to know that there's nothing to worry about concerning Amy. In fact she's the reason I came back here for you. I needed to let her know just how important you were and still are and always will be. Our paths may not always intersect, Rose, but believe me, whatever I did yesterday and today to mess up your life … my main concern is correcting that. It's very important that I get you back to where you're needed the most and that's with The Doctor you remember … not me … not this silly Time Lord who thinks bowties are far cooler than leather jackets." He smirked.

"That's why you came back then?" Rose asked after taking a moment to digest his words, the streaks of water pouring down the sides of her face becoming less and less as he had talked, "To show Amy who I was?"

The Doctor nodded, "More or less. Perhaps I wanted to see you too. Never did I intend to interact with you in this part of your timeline, but you have to understand that when it comes to you, Rose Tyler, I have very little self control. Once I saw you I couldn't leave you alone. I had to be near, to hear your voice, to touch you again. It had been a long time … you see." He turned his eyes away and cleared his throat a few times as an effort to gain his own composure before feeling able to speak again.

"You mentioned not being a part of my future and that is true, but that doesn't mean your impact on me wasn't felt. On the contrary you were destined to bring meaning to my life again after a very long period where I thought very little of myself. I suppose that was the reason I sent you home when the Daleks were attacking. I knew you were meant for great things. I knew it, because you had done so much for me and I felt your life was more important than my own or at least he did … silly man with the floppy ears."

"Hey, I like those ears." Rose sniffled, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

The Doctor returned her grin with one of his own, glad he had been able to pull her from descending down into the pit of sadness and anger she had been hovering over. "I suppose I grew fond of them too."

"Will you tell me the reason I'm not with you anymore … in the future?" Rose asked quietly as if she wasn't sure the question was allowed.

Removing his hands from her face where they had spent the last few minutes wiping away Rose's cascade of tears, The Doctor took a finger to his chin and tapped it while he thought. Could he tell her? Would it disrupt things further? Did it even matter since he knew her time with this knowledge of her future would be short lived?

"Tell you what, let's continue on our walk." The Doctor said offering his hand to her once more, "There's a place I'd like to show you, and as I recall you mum gave us one hour. It's best not to upset Jackie any further by being tardy."

"Quite right." Rose nodded, taking his hand. "Where is this place exactly?"

"Not too far from here, I think. It's something that has to do with two words you might recall … Bad Wolf."


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note**: Nearly done. I have maybe a few more chapters to go. Thanks for the continued support of those who read and the few of you who review. I appreciate the feedback.

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Rose was sitting beside The Doctor, their hands still entwined from before. He hadn't let go since first taking hold before their walk towards the place with the Bad Wolf connection. Even though she wasn't familiar with his new face, she was relatively comfortable with his touch and as they sat together one of his thumbs began to casually stroke the back of her hand. Rose might have objected to Mr. Smith doing this, but knowing who he really was created a sense of calm within her. Besides it was something The Doctor had done often whenever they'd held hands. This action by him made her acceptance of his new body all the easier.

They were occupying a park bench that had once upon a time been in an actual park. Now it was deserted with only the object they sat on as a reminder of its picturesque past. The area had fallen into its current shabby state slowly over the years as grass was covered with pavement and trees removed. Eventually the concrete walls and ground found themselves taken over by graffiti, a testament to the disrepair of this part of London. Rose had vague memories of when it had been an actual park, but mostly she just knew it as is. Growing up her visits to this place had been sporadic at best and not once during those times had she examined the words making up the graffiti. When The Doctor told her to look down and around to see what it read, Rose couldn't believe what her eyes saw. The term 'Bad Wolf' was everywhere and she now understood that this was her own handiwork or at least that's what The Doctor had said.

"What you're saying is that the reason we kept seeing those words following us was, because of something I did or am going to do in the future?" Rose asked trying to comprehend everything The Doctor had explained only moments before.

He nodded, "You looked into the heart of The TARDIS and became this unstoppable god. Bad Wolf was your way of communicating across time and it brought you back to me, but inevitably I had to pull it from you, otherwise you'd have burned up. That kind of power isn't anything a mere human can wield or even a Time Lord for that matter." He looked away briefly and Rose noticed him grimace before turning his eyes back to her. "But it all worked out in the end. You defeated the Daleks and I got this really cool hair out of the regeneration … all sticky uppy and you seemed to like it. Well, yeah … you already saw it … briefly, when I showed you the other regeneration."

The understanding of what he was saying slowly formed in her head and Rose became horrified, "I'm the reason you had to change." She asked, her eyebrows rising in shock, "You took the TARDIS out of me to save my life, but it killed you?"

"Well, obviously that option was the more acceptable one. Rose Tyler, dead. Doctor, new body. It was hardly a decision at all and I'd like to remind you that I wasn't killed." The Doctor replied in his usual flippant way of taking a horrible subject and pulling the bad from it.

"Yes, regeneration, but you were forced to change and it was my fault." Rose moaned, "It was my fault. I'm the guilty one."

"Stop." The Doctor commanded, finally relinquishing her hands in order to place one of his index fingers against her lips. "I'll have none of that wallowing self pity sadness. What's done is done … or in our case, will be done and besides you only did what you thought was best. I don't even want to think what probably would have happened if you hadn't come back, but you did and it was love that prompted you. Rose, that was a very honorable reason. Don't think otherwise"

"But, if I'm getting the whole of what you've been trying to tell me, I will have to go and do that all again to keep my timeline the same as before." Rose could feel the tears beginning to form as she talked and the girl tried to hold them back as best she could.

She wasn't sure why the urge to cry had suddenly hit her and thought perhaps it was just residual tears from before. There was also the possibly that the guilt she felt was getting the better of her. Knowing she would have to push through that emotion in order to keep things from straying too far from her original timeline only strengthened her shame. All she knew for sure was that there were so many feelings flowing through her at that precise moment and it wasn't long before they caused her to cry. Once she started, Rose was unable to stop herself and she worried that The Doctor might see this as weakness. The second time in such a short period that the girl had been reduced to waterworks.

To Rose's relief, The Doctor didn't say anything on the matter and she soon found herself wrapped in his strong arms as he whispered, "Oh, Rose. I'm sorry I've done this to you. How hard it must be to have the knowledge of what's going to happen. I'm sorry I came back and messed up your history so horribly."

His words seemed to calm the chaos pulsating through her and Rose leaned her head against the tweed material of his suit jacket, silently wishing she felt the coolness of leather beneath her cheek. "Well, it was love that prompted you and that is a very honorable reason." Rose said, mimicking the words and tone he had used before.

There was the rumble of a chuckle in his chest that Rose felt vibrate against her face, "That is very true." she heard him say and the smile that was on his face was evident in his voice.

Pulling herself upright, Rose looked into his eyes which seemed to shimmer with the hint of his own tears. She wanted to mention this, but thought better and instead focused on the familiar feeling she had felt since first coming in contact with Mr. Smith. It was still there and had only grown stronger since she discovered who he really was. Reaching out hesitantly at first, Rose placed her hand against The Doctor's cheek and traced a finger across his skin … a new face, but always the same Doctor. Then suddenly at the thought of his regeneration she shuddered. It was hard for her to see him in any situation where he might be harmed. She wanted him safe, her Doctor.

"What are you thinking?" The Doctor asked.

Rose parted her mouth slightly and then turned her eyes downward as she removed her hand.

The Doctor took her reaction the wrong way and quickly said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

Rose shook her head, bringing her face back up to his, "No, it's not that."

"Then what?"

"I suppose it's nothing worth all this silly dithering." Rose shrugged, "You see, when I first met you, when I thought you were Mr. Smith, I instantly sensed something familiar. I couldn't place it at the time, but now it all makes sense and that feeling has only grown stronger. I'm thinking it doesn't matter what you look like. There will always be this connection I feel with you. I'm only sad that this will be the only time I get to experience you as Mr. Smith. I don't like thinking of a future where I won't always be with you."

A heavy sigh left The Doctor's mouth and Rose watched as his head sagged slightly. "It's not exactly something I can tell you without risking your future further. Not to mention how it might influence your actions once we get back to the TARDIS. I'm sure you remember what happened when you saved your father's life. It's quite possible that something similar could take place again if we don't keep things on track. Can you be happy simply knowing that the circumstances that led us to separate eventually do have a happy ending?"

He reached out a hand to cup Rose's cheek and the girl leaned into it, "I suppose if that's all you can tell me then I'll be satisfied." She sighed.

They stayed in this manner for quite some time, both lost in the moment and it wasn't until much later, with the sound of Rose's stomach rumbling, that they were pulled out of the comfort they'd found in each other. Rose awkwardly giggled, "Uh, guess I must be hungry."

"Well, who wouldn't be in your situation?" The Doctor briskly said, taking hold of her hands, rising to his feet, and pulling Rose up along with him all in the matter of a second, "Your last meal was probably fish and chips at the restaurant. Come on, I'll take you home. I'm sure Jackie's waiting impatiently for you and giving Amy a hell of a time over it."

"How'd you know I had fish in chips?" Rose asked.

"Because, I know you." The Doctor winked, "Now come on, let's get moving."

Their walk back to her flat was spent in quiet reflection for Rose. She thought about all the ways her life would change now considering The Doctor had admitted his love for her. When she returned to her Doctor could she keep herself from being more forward with him? Before she'd never considered he might love her, not with their Human/Time Lord contradiction. That had always been what kept her from stepping too far over the line. Now with this knowledge, Rose wasn't sure what she might do. The whole of her future might not be too clear, but this one fact was something that possibly could change things. The girl even dared to hope that maybe it would keep them together in the end. She decided not to share these musings with him though, knowing how The Doctor might disapprove of her meddling too much with how things had originally gone. For now, Rose would remain silent on the subject.

Before long they reached the door to the flat and once Rose walked through it she was greeted by her Mum's overzealous hug. Amy was standing a few feet away and sent her a smile and nod.

"See Mrs. Tyler, I brought her back with 5 minutes to spare." The Doctor stated, coming inside behind Rose.

Jackie gave The Doctor the barest indication that she had heard him and then focused back on her daughter, "Have you been crying, Rose? Did he make you cry? Your mascara's all runny."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Mum." Rose rolled her eyes and quickly ran off to the bathroom.

"I always tell you that you put it on too tick. Two burnt holes in a blanket I always say." Jackie shouted after her daughter, "I always tell you that." She repeated following the slam of the bathroom door.

Rose had intentionally banged the door shut as a means of quieting her Mum's silly ramblings and right on cue she heard Jackie turn her attention back to hen pecking The Doctor. She sighed in relief knowing his presence would shift her mum's attention away from her daughter's appearance. At the sound of the word appearance echoing in her head, Rose quickly moved away from the door and over to the sink. Leaning her hands against its cold surface, she placed her face in front of the mirror hanging on the wall. Unfortunately her Mum hadn't been exaggerating. The mascara Rose had coated her lashes with the day before was now smeared down her face, washed there by the river of tears she'd shed that morning.

Taking a cotton ball out of one of the sink drawers, Rose wiped her eyes until she was satisfied that most of the black mess was gone. After that was dealt with, she quickly used the loo and ran a brush though her tangled hair, before heading back out to be with the others. The smell of bacon instantly filled her nose as she stepped beyond the bathroom and Rose's stomach again grumbled in anticipation of the delicious breakfast staple. The Doctor must have prompted Jackie into cooking, Rose concluded. Anxious to whet her appetite Rose began moving towards the kitchen, but halted only a few paces later. Off to the side, near the end of the hallway she saw Amy and The Doctor talking in hushed tones. The idea of eaves dropping soon got the better of Rose and the girl found herself creeping against the hallway wall, trying to stay hidden, but also be near enough to hear their conversation. As she inched along, the familiar sound of their voices came into her audible range.

"Did you mention anything to Rose about what happens in her future?" Amy asked quietly.

"I could have … what with me eventually erasing her memory of us ever being here, but I didn't want to chance it. I have no idea how things will play out once we take her back to the TARDIS. It's better to be safe in these kinds of situations." The low sound of the Doctor's voice answered.

Rose stumbled slightly at hearing his words and knowing the sound of this was probably too loud for her to stay incognito, she decided to make herself known. "Hey." Her voice came out as merrily as possible, not wanting to let on to what she had just heard.

"Ah, I see you clean up nicely." The Doctor teased as a large smile spread across his face.

"You think so?" Rose joked back, trying to keep up appearances.

"For a human." He replied, which was a reference to one of their first conversations as Doctor and companion.

Rose grinned despite her plummeting heart. She'd much rather have graced The Doctor with a frown, "Ah, how very clever of you."

"Yes, I am good a clever, quite good at a lot of things actually." He reached out his arm, so that Rose could link hers with his, "But, most of all I am good at escorting young ladies to meals. Shall we? Breakfast is only a few steps away."

She played along. A false smile was on her lips as he led her in the direction of the kitchen, but inside her mind was elsewhere.

_Yes, Doctor you are good at a lot of things, especially like keeping me in the dark._


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note**: I realize that my last chapter was from Rose's POV, but I needed to have this chapter be her POV again and may start off the next chapter the same. The Doctor's inner thoughts will return eventually, I promise. Sorry it took me so long to update. I had a difficult time writing after watching the Doctor Who Series 6 finale ... if that means anything. I won't go into it only to say I wasn't pleased, but anway here you are Chapter 14 ...

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Breakfast went by without Rose letting on to what she'd overheard in the hallway. Maintaining normalcy was at the top of her mind and she tried her best to make their meal as uneventful as possible. Keeping up appearances meant she would have time to figure out a way to stop The Doctor from wiping her memory. If he suspected everything was going along as _he planned_ then _her plan _couldn't be circumvented … as to what _her plan_ was, Rose wasn't entirely sure yet. Mostly she tried not to think about the why behind his reasoning. Instead her focus was on outsmarting her better half with an emphasis on _better_. He was The Doctor after all, a creature far superior to Rose in knowledge and age. He'd been around the universe many times over and while she was aware that his methods were probably for the best, she couldn't reconcile him trying to keep her in the dark. There had to be a way to best him. She didn't care if this was a nearly impossible challenge, Rose was up for it.

So, she sat there quietly contemplating, taking bites of food, and listening to the small talk the others made. The only disruption came when Jackie was finally told about The Doctor's plan to return to the TARDIS. It was at the end of the meal while Rose was clearing up the plates. She hadn't the courage to spill the details of what came next to her mum, but ever the opener of cans containing worms, The Doctor took this confrontation to task.

"Bloody hell, am I letting you take Rose back to that time machine!" Jackie exclaimed.

Rose was standing at the kitchen sink, her back to the table her mum and The Doctor still occupied. Amy had come to help and was standing beside Rose. Both girls' eyes met after Jackie's yell and Rose saw Amy shake her head. At first she thought the redhead was merely stating her disapproval in the over the top reaction, but then Amy whispered, "Let him handle this." As if she had sensed Rose was about to try and diffuse the situation.

She quickly realized Amy told her this, because of her faith in The Doctor to overcome any obstacle. Nodding in agreement, Rose continued to clean up, but something stuck with her from their exchange and Rose began to wonder about The Doctor's new companion. Amy seemed confident in what the Time Lord could accomplish and much to her chagrin, Rose saw a bit of herself in the person standing to her side with dish rag in hand.

She wondered how long it had taken before Amy fell for The Doctor. Her adoration wasn't exactly something she kept hidden. The beam on the girl's face whenever The Doctor talked with her was hard to miss. It had been smacked across Amy's mouth before in the bedroom while Rose helplessly looked on. That wide smile was a big reason why even now Rose was wary of her rival. Jealously could do a number on a person's ability to think clearly and she realized this. Pushing through the urge to dislike Amy was difficult, but she made the effort. Besides Rose was quite sure that if another Doctor, one with closely cropped hair and a long Roman nose, had been there then her expression would probably have mirrored Amy's.

Did The Doctor always have this influence over his companions or anyone else he met that wasn't a foe, she wondered? Rose certainly recalled Captain Jack having no shame in blatantly showing his love for The Doctor and after spending her morning alone with this new Version 1.3, Rose had to admit her emotions were veering towards the romantic. It was something that should have put her at odds with his other companion, but the wheels in Rose's brain began to spin as an idea took shape that contradicted this concept. Perhaps there was an ally to be had in Amy. Their experiences were similar and common ground might be found between the two. It was then as Rose stared down into the dish water that a plan was formed inside her head.

"So, that's that then." Rose suddenly heard The Doctor say and it brought her focus away from Amy and back on to what was happening behind them.

Whirling around, Rose was rather shocked to see The Doctor and her mum shaking hands. It seemed inconceivable considering that unlike Rose and Amy, Jackie was immune to The Doctor's charm, but from the looks of it, Rose surmised there had been an agreement. Of course, her mum did have a few choice words for him after their handshake and a promise to give him a good smacking if her daughter came back a headcase again. She didn't want to see Rose hurt and Jackie blamed The Doctor for the emotional turmoil he'd thrown the girl into these last few days. She wanted to see them back again soon and smiling.

"Oh, we'll be back, although there might be a new face to this smile." The Doctor said using both hands to point at his exaggerated toothy grin.

"Good, 'cause I don't think I can stand to stare at that large chin of yours for much longer without punching it." Jackie shot back.

"Touché, Mrs. Tyler. Never change, do you?" The Doctor returned her swipe at him with a sarcastic smirk.

Jackie smiled back with a bit of disdain mixed into her grin, "You know the only reason I'm not making a big deal out of this is, because I know it's what Rose wants." She turned about in her chair to look at her daughter, "You can't say I never had your back, sweetheart."

Rose saw The Doctor stick his tongue out at Jackie once her back was turned and the girl giggled at his display of silliness. Then looking to her mum she replied, "You always have had my back and don't think I'll ever forget that."

"Good, 'cause when this bloke eventually leaves again, I'll be here … always."

Rose tried to ignore the pangs of sadness her mum's cutting words created inside her chest, not because they were made out of spite for The Doctor, but because they were very true. He would leave again. It was a fact he'd explained earlier in the morning, but Rose was determined to hold onto her knowledge of him. Perhaps by doing this he wouldn't leave after all.

"So, alright … what's the plan?" Amy asked, placing the last of the dried dishes inside the cupboard and coming to stand beside The Doctor's chair.

Rose decided then to use Amy's question as an opportunity to set into action the plan that had crept into her head while washing the dishes. Amy was pretty much forcing her to do this, because to get her plan moving along Rose would have to keep The Doctor from enacting his.

"Well, Doctor why don't you go with mum to get that big yellow truck you mentioned Mickey using to open the heart of the TARDIS and while you're doing that, Amy and I can go round up some things I need from the shop." Rose said rather quickly, hoping that the faster the words came out of her mouth the sooner everyone would agree to them.

As much as she hoped the whole thing would go smoothly, she couldn't force them all into simply accepting without comment. So, when her mum started complaining right away it didn't catch Rose off guard, "The shop? What'd you need to get from there that we can't all get together? There's no reason I should have to be alone with this man."

Rose tried to evoke the inner actress that was like a recessive gene. Eager to have a well rounded daughter, especially one that wouldn't be affected by the death of a father, had caused Jackie to explore many childhood activities where Rose could be socialized. This meant that by age 10 the girl could claim one acting class under her belt. Rose was about to try and put that 3 month course to use. "Mum, please don't ask me why I need you to go with The Doctor. You can't expect me to explain why … not with everything I've been through. Please, just trust me. Please."

She made sure to put into play all the emotional turmoil she'd felt throughout the course of The Doctor sending her back, then returning and his eventual declaration of love. She was trying to pull at her mum's sympathies, by using the mothers' guilt card. Hadn't she just told Rose she would always have her back? Why should this time be any different especially since she was now giving her the sad puppy face?

"Ah Rose, stop staring at me with those puppy dog eyes. They didn't work on me when you were 12 and wanted a pet ferret and they won't work now, so stop." Jackie laughed and Rose's face fell. "Well, now that's a look of sadness I believe. Tell you what, if The Doctor agrees to tag along with me then I will too."

The Doctor quickly cut in by covering his eyes and saying, "Don't even think about sending me those puppy dog eyes too, Rose. I'm not quite as immune as Jackie and I want you to know that whatever you need me to do, I will do with or without doggy sad vision."

Rose chuckled and went to show her appreciation with a hug. Once she was close enough The Doctor must have sensed her presence, because he removed his hands from his eyes and smiled up at her. Amy quickly moved away from his chair, so The Doctor could stand and embrace Rose. Not entirely sure if this would be the last time he would openly hold her in happiness considering what she had planned, the girl drank up the moment.

The smell of his skin and the slightly odd scent coming off his bowtie filled her nose while the feel of his cool breath was felt on her neck. Soon she would say goodbye to this Doctor and hopefully find herself in the arms of another. Her relationship with the one who held her now might not end pleasantly and she needed to keep him near like this and hopefully remember him happy … if she remembered him at all. Rose could feel her eyes becoming wet at the thought of this and she quickly rubbed them on the material of The Doctor's tweed jacket.

When she eventually pulled away, prompted by a loud clearing of the throat from her mum, Rose looked into his green eyes that during the course of their embrace had become serious. The silly teasing from before dancing just behind the irises was gone. His emotions had shifted just like hers. Their connection was now based on a mutual sadness and Rose was acutely aware of the change in the air between them. It was so overpowering that she was afraid the tears might return. As if he was able to read her mind, The Doctor broke the spell between them and abruptly moved away from Rose over to Amy.

"Right then," He cleared his throat, "Off you go with Rose," The Doctor patted Amy on the back and did something of a spin around the small kitchen table, "And you and I will go see a man about a truck." He stated coming to stand next to Jackie.

Then he quickly ran to the door leading outside the flat. Everyone else sort of looked at each other bewildered by his fast pace. "Well, come on then!" He shouted back at them.

Rose drew in a breath in order to ready herself for the challenge that would greet her outside the flat, "Best not to keep a Time Lord waiting. They have no true concept of time after all." She joked and then walked towards the door.

It wasn't lost on Rose that The Doctor pointedly avoided her gaze as she moved past him beyond the door he held open. She tried to ignore the tugging this one action of his had on her heart and replaced that emotion with one of determination. Amy was her focus now and Rose would use all her courage in dealing with the other girl in The Doctor's life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note**: Yes, it's me again here with an update. I realize this chapter is shorter than what I would usually write, but since it's been awhile I figured a shortened chapter was better than making my readers wait longer. I had a lot going on in the last month, a Halloween party to plan and host, visiting relatives and then the horrible news that one of my favorite shows was going on "hiatus" lol, so I apologize like the broken record that I am. I'm hoping to wrap this up in the next chapter, so if you're still around ... thanks for sticking with me.

* * *

Amy and Rose had been moving through the isles of ASDA in mutual silence for a good 5 minutes before Rose finally took the initiative to break the ice. Despite the anxiousness she felt, Rose knew it was important that she get things moving along and eventually found it in herself to turn to her shopping companion and ask, "So, how long have you been traveling with The Doctor?"

Rose said this while absently picking up a bag of crisps that she had no intention of buying. Amy was also examining junk food alongside Rose and glanced up after the question was asked, before turning back down to stare at the rows of bags once more, "Oh, not long." She replied, "But, I feel like I've known him my whole life."

"Yeah, The Doctor kind of has that effect on people, I guess. I had a life before I met him. It's there in my head, but I don't really think I was actually living. Most of it seems black and gray, like an old movie or something." Rose said while giving the ingredients of the bag she held a good once over and then tossing it down with the others.

In response, Amy turned her body so that she was facing Rose, which all but forced the other girl to do the same lest she be rude. "Well, literally he crash landed in my yard when I was 8 and left not long after arriving. I spent the next couple of years obsessing over him until he came back. Those times I spent waiting are still very clear inside my head."

Rose wasn't sure if the defensiveness she detected from Amy was real or imagined. Although, she didn't have to wonder long, because the answer quickly came forth in the form of an apology, "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make this a competition … who has the better back story with The Doctor." Amy laughed nervously, "It's just been a long 24 hours as I'm sure you know. Every time I nodded off last night I woke up to him talking to you and it took forever to fall asleep again… yes, well, I'm sure your experience has been just as frustrating if not more. Honestly, I don't know why I'm acting so ridiculous."

A half smile formed on Rose's lips, "I know why. It's so easy to see that you love him … or the idea of him. You did say you obsessed about The Doctor from a young age. It's only natural to feel like we should be in some sort of competition with each other, but you know what, it doesn't have to be like that. I'd like to think that maybe by having this shared connection to him it might bring us together."

Amy grimaced at her suggestion, "I'm not sure you'd feel the same if you knew why he brought me here. Do you know why he brought me here to see you?" She asked, her eyes conveying sadness.

"He told the bare bones of why, but you can tell me if you like." Rose encouraged, hoping that if Amy shared her story it would help build the bond she was trying to create between them.

Amy drew in a breath and released it in a long drawn out process. Then when she was about to speak a store clerk suddenly appeared from behind the rack of crisps and asked in a voice expressing his apathy, "Do you two need help finding anything?"

Both girls couldn't help the glare they showered the man with as they emphatically answered in unison, "No!"

The clerk at first seemed taken aback by their harsh reaction, but then shrugged it off as he moved along to the next customer. Once he was gone, Rose and Amy giggled at their shared annoyance with him and then Amy began again, "Anyways." She sent the store employee an irritated look and continued, "I kissed him, er not him, not that dolt who works here, but I mean The Doctor. I kissed him."

Amy waited with bated breath, gauging Rose's reaction. As she looked over her, Rose made a point to keep calm. From what The Doctor had told her it was already clear that something of the sort had happened and she didn't want to react negatively to Amy, especially when she was being so vulnerable. Rose watched as Amy's eyes darted nervously away after the confession. Then when Rose didn't protest by way of screaming or pulling her hair like some woman on a cheap tabloid show might have after discovering her man had been snogging another woman, she continued, "I didn't care. All those years dreaming about him and we had just gone through an extremely stressful situation, our lives were threatened and … I did it, but he didn't react the way I wanted him to … because of you."

After that last phrase, Amy's eyes came back to rest on Rose. They were full of apology, ashamed at having made a pass at someone who was still in love, in love with the girl she was standing in front of, "He still loves you."

Rose shrugged it off, "You didn't know that when you kissed him and well to be honest I didn't either until today. Always acting so proper, he never said anything to me when he was my Doctor. Now I know and it's something that I don't ever want lose. Being aware of this takes my life in another direction, maybe even a better one than I would have lived. I'm glad he finally told me even if it came from him dressed up in another body."

Amy didn't say anything in reply, but her shoulders did droop slightly. It was this non verbal communication that let Rose know Amy felt guilty. Her reaction was what decided Rose to jump headlong into her plan. "I know he wants to wipe my memory of him, you, and all the confessing he did last night and this morning." Pausing to take one of Amy's hands in hers, Rose's voice took on pleading quality, "You know what it's like to love him. You know what I must be feeling right now."

With a quick shake of the head, Amy removed her fingers from the other's grasp, "Rose, I have nothing to do with this. It's completely The Doctor. I have no say in anything. I don't know how much control you had over him, but believe me I'm not that important."

"But, that's where you're wrong. Everyone is important. The Doctor taught me that. I see the relationship you two have and trust me you are very important to him." Rose interjected.

Amy sighed and her brows creased, "Regardless, if you're trying to get me to talk him out of erasing your memory then you're out of luck. His mind's made up. He wants to keep time in order."

"I'm not asking you to talk to him about it. I know for a fact that he's stubborn and won't listen to reason from anyone, let alone another stupid ape." Rose snorted, remembering when he had called her that, "I just need you to get something away from him. He won't be suspicious of you like he might be of me. I already saw it in him, he knows I'm up to something, but you Amy … I don't think he will suspect you."

"Why do you even think I want to help you go against what The Doctor thinks is right?" Amy said with a huff, a bit of the defensiveness from before returning in her voice. "Seems to me that you both have been thinking far too much with your hearts lately and that's what made this whole situation such a blooming mess."

Moving closer to Amy, Rose put both of her hands on either side of the girl's arms which were crossed over her chest in a disgruntled manner. This action shocked Amy out of her irritation and Rose watched as that emotion faded away and left sympathy in its wake. "I know you want to help me, because you've imagined yourself already in this situation and thought that if the shoe were on the other foot, you'd want to keep your memories of him as well."

Amy remained quiet for a long while after she shrugged away from Rose and returned back to the pointless task of sorting crisps. Rose didn't say anything. She knew a nerve had been hit and didn't want to risk pushing too hard. It was thin line she was straddling with Amy.

"You know I hear these are filled with loads of ingredients that cause cancer?" Amy casually said after a good 5 minutes of silence had transpired.

"Oh yeah, who says that?" Rose asked.

"My aunt, but she's loony." The other girl replied, turning towards Rose again and tossing a bag of crisps in her general direction.

Rose managed to catch it just before it landed on the ground.

"Okay, what do you need me to get from The Doctor?"


	16. Chapter 16

The Doctor stood leaning his back against the blue call box he called home, a name that was among a dozen others he'd bestowed upon his TARDIS over the last few centuries … some of which he'd rather keep to himself out of embarrassment. In truth this was the same box he had come here in. The outside looked exactly like the one he used when traveling with Amy, but he knew that once the doors were open and the inside exposed, the interior would appear very different. Its image would be a strong memory from his past just like Rose and no doubt would stir up strong emotions. The Doctor wasn't sure if his spent mental state could endure another blow after experiencing so many emotional setbacks in such a short time.

Such a discredit to the Time Lords he'd become by letting his emotions run things these last 24 hours. It wasn't something he was particularly proud of, but it was something he would soon set right. Then he would leave with a promise never again to try and force himself into these types of situations. Rose was his past and had to remain thus. Now he simply needed her to return with Amy, so he could set things into motion. Their trip was taking longer than he'd expected and The Doctor was starting to get impatient.

"And then I told Rodrigo, you can't come into my flat to take your tools away when you haven't fixed the sink yet. So, I held them hostage, right, until he came back and fixed that bloody leak. We had a row about it, but we're better now. I mean don't see how he would of let us borrow this truck if we were still fighting."

The words of Jackie Tyler were like a fly buzzing in The Doctor's ears. He was unaware that the woman had started speaking again. Over the course of their afternoon together she had made small talk, most of which was about things inconsequential to him and most of which he tried to ignore. He'd been doing a fine job of it for awhile, but now that they both stood next to each with no other task to accomplish, but wait for Rose and Amy, her words kept bleeding into his consciousness.

"Sounds wonderful." The Doctor replied, not really knowing if this was the correct response to what Jackie had been talking about.

When she reacted with a high pitched "What?" he knew his answer back had been ill fitting.

"None of that was wonderful. Have you been listening to a word I've been saying? Look … I'm not keen on us being forced together either, so I tried to make it bearable, but you'd rather stand there ignoring me. Yeah, forget I'm the one letting you take my daughter away again … never mind that." Jackie's voice came out in one long exasperated huff.

The Doctor groaned and rolled his eyes, wanting nothing more than to retort with his own quip about how annoying she was, but he decided not to. It really wouldn't behoove their situation and beyond that he knew deep down Jackie was a decent person. He'd seen it in her future. He just wasn't seeing it now. Pulling in a breath, The Doctor readied himself to do the unimaginable and apologize to Rose's mum for being rude when as luck would have it the woman's daughter saved him from humbling himself. Instead of telling Jackie he was sorry, he called out to Rose who was running down the street with Amy by her side.

"We thought you might have decided to take in a film." The Doctor joked when the two were near enough.

"Still telling jokes in serious situations?" Rose teased as she came to stand in front of him.

The Doctor smiled down at her, "Is there any other way to be."

"For you? No." Rose said, returning his grin.

"Alright, enough of this." Jackie cut in, ruining the moment for Rose and The Doctor, "I'd like to know what was so important that I was forced to be with this man for the last hour. He's done nothing, but be rude."

"We got crisps." Amy stated from behind Rose and she held up their shopping bag as proof.

Jackie's mouth gaped in response to Amy's answer, but before the woman could have another outburst, The Doctor took it upon himself to diffuse the situation. His reason was partly, because he knew the truth behind Rose wanting time alone with Amy wasn't really about crisps and also for the experience of cutting Jackie off, "Well, everyone needs snacks and this will be good comfort food for Rose and my past self. I do recall loving these, so good work you two. I'll just stick them in the TARDIS, which is where we all need to be anyway."

With one hand, The Doctor quickly grasped the plastic bag away from Amy and then with very elaborate flair, raised the other hand in the air. Placing his thumb and middle finger together he snapped them against one another, an expectant and playful grin on his face. It was something he had done countless times since River Song had shown him it was possible to open his time machine with a simple snap of the fingers. He still hadn't tired of making it a show for everyone else.

_Hey look what I can do by just snapping my fingers! _The 5 year old boy this body seemed to house would say inside his head as it came jumping forth. Only this time, nothing happened in response and with a nervous chuckle he tried once more. Snap. Again nothing changed. The TARDIS doors remained closed.

"What the hell are you doing, snapping all about?" Jackie asked after his third attempt failed to produce anything, but The Doctor looking silly.

"Why isn't it working, Doctor?" Amy, who was also accustomed to seeing the TARDIS open with a snap of her companion's fingers, asked as she moved up beside him.

"I'm not sure." He replied, rubbing his useless snapping fingers against his chin. "It's almost like she's not letting me."

"_She?_" Amy asked.

"Yes, well aren't all modes of transportation female? It's not only a human tradition, you know." He responded defensively.

"I didn't know." Amy softly laughed, "Well, what about your screwdriver? Won't that work on _her_?" Amy suggested as she began to probe his suit coat pockets for the device.

"Ay, watch it there." The Doctor maneuvered his body away from Amy, but not before she located his sonic screwdriver.

"Let me handle this." Rose said in an understated voice as she moved between the two and inserted her key into the TARDIS, all the while mimicking The Doctor's elaborate movements from before, "Viola!"

The Doctor snickered at her obvious imitation of him and then patted her head, "Well done. When did you get a hold of that?"

"Mum thought I might need it and handed it to me before I left with Amy." Rose sent him a wink before ushering them all inside the time machine with a wave of her hand, "Come on then. Let's get started."

The team of four walked inside and spent the next few minutes discussing how things were going to play out. The Doctor gave a play by play of what Rose had related to him in his past. They would hook the truck up to The TARDIS console via chain and drive until the vehicle's strength opened up the heart of the machine. That's when Rose would look into that power and return to his Ninth regeneration.

"I'll stay with you right until the very end." The Doctor whispered into Rose's ear once he was done dictating everyone their jobs.

"And what am I supposed to do?" Jackie asked.

The Doctor looked over at an indignant Jackie Tyler. He had negated to hand her a task, "Weeeellll … you can ride along with Amy in the truck. Yes, terrific idea!" The Doctor replied gesturing to the redhead waiting off to the side who enthusiastically waved in response. "I'd like to be alone with Rose when she has to look into the heart of the TARDIS. It's better not to complicate things with another person. She … or excuse me, my TARDIS, can be temperamental about having her insides exposed."

Rose's mum didn't seem pleased, but she managed not to argue which in effect pleased everyone else around her. "Mind if I say goodbye then, you know since with you it's always a toss up as to when I'll see my daughter again."

The Doctor nodded and waited patiently as not only Jackie, but also Amy hugged Rose goodbye. He thought this was curious at first, since the two barely knew each other. Then it occurred to him that perhaps Rose's mission to gain some knowledge about her future from the other girl had caused them to bond. It was what he suspected their trip had been about all along and their response to each other now was telling. Yet, in the end The Doctor shrugged it off. He was mere minutes away from erasing Rose's memory and whatever Amy had revealed would soon be forgotten. It didn't matter.

Once the chain was in place and Amy had left with Jackie, The Doctor came to stand next to Rose. She was near the console with her head hung low almost as if she was praying. He took her hand and softly caressed it with his thumb, "You okay?" He asked.

"I'm nervous." The girl admitted.

The Doctor returned her confession with a squeeze of the hand and replied, "Don't be. We have this set up almost exactly how it was before, minus a Mickey or two, but I don't think that will have much affect on things. How is he by the way?"

Rose shrugged, "Mickey? Fine I guess, but you know that's not really who I'm thinking of right now."

The sound of the truck's engine gunning outside stunned the two and caused Rose to jump. The Doctor draped a comforting arm across his companion's shoulders and pulled her close. He didn't really have to think hard to come up with the answer as to who was on Rose's mind, but still he asked, "Who _are_ you thinking of?"

The slack chain suddenly became tight and Rose watched it, her eyes shinning with anticipation, "You." Her voice was a whisper

"Oh, Rose." The Doctor sighed, not relishing the idea of removing himself from her mind, but knowing it was a necessary evil.

After the words were out of her mouth, Rose moved her eyes to look up at The Doctor. The uncertainty clouding her vision was no doubt mirrored in his own. Then he watched as her mood suddenly shifted, like a moment of clarity hit her. Rose's eyes widened and the indecision behind her brown irises transformed into determination, "Please, I know you can't tell me why we aren't together in the future, but will you entertain me one thing before I leave?"

"What is it?" The Doctor asked, his voice barely heard above the racket the truck made.

Rose's response wasn't with words. Moving with a measured pace, she took The Doctor's arms and placed them around her waist. She followed this action by lifting her own arms up and wrapping them around his neck. Her movements were deliberate, but also timid like she was silently asking with her slow pace if the nearness was acceptable. The Doctor didn't refuse the closeness and once she was near enough to him, so close that he could feel the heat of her breath trailing against the skin of his neck, he knew his fate was sealed.

The Doctor had never kissed Rose Tyler before. There had been the time when he'd done so in order to pull the power of the TARDIS out of Rose, but then that hadn't truly been her. Likewise there was the memory of when her mind was taken over by Cassandra and how the alien had used her host to manipulate Rose into kissing him, but again that was not the Rose he loved. This moment, one he had thought about a million times over inside his head, was happening with the real Rose Tyler and when the girl brought her mouth up to his, The Doctor couldn't find it in himself to refuse her.

He was acutely aware of the pain this one act would eventually cause. Kissing Rose like he'd always dreamed of meant leaving her again would be all the more unbearable, but he couldn't stop himself. The temptation was too great. _Rose_. He was finally experiencing what he had yearned to do since the beginning of their time together inside the TARDIS. To kiss the woman he loved was such a simple thing and yet, when it was Rose Tyler it was hardly simple at all.


	17. Chapter 17

Rose felt an electricity-like sensation flowing through her body from head to toe as soon as The Doctor's lips found hers. It had been awhile since she'd felt something in a kiss. Near the end of her time as Mickey's girlfriend it had become like a mundane task, a kiss goodbye, a kiss hello. Passion had left their relationship long before The Doctor showed up. Now that Doctor was fanning the flames of a fire deep inside her that she couldn't recall ever having with anyone before and even though his face and body were not the same as the alien she'd fallen for, he was still unchanged inside. It confirmed what she already knew, what she realized that morning. Her love for The Doctor could transcend any complication. She was able to kiss him and not be concerned with his features. It was the creature within that Rose loved and as their movements became more hurried and his body pushed Rose up against the TARDIS walls, she had to fight the urge to simply let go. It occurred to her that if she didn't focus and ignore the pleasure building in her core, it was quite possible that she might fail in her plan.

_Yes, the plan_. Amy had already fulfilled her part by gaining The Doctor's screwdriver and handing it off to her. Now Rose needed to remain level headed and not get too lost in a kiss that was rapidly becoming more heated as the seconds ticked by. Her original intention had been to use the intimate moment as a way to distract The Doctor and dull his senses. It wasn't a cruel method, because she knew they both had been fighting off sexual tension since earlier in the morning when he had revealed his feelings for her. It would be good for them to have some form of release in case things didn't pan out the way she wanted and her memory was erased or so she reasoned.

But, then their moment together suddenly turned a corner when the Doctor pulled his mouth away from hers and began trailing kisses down Rose's neck. He muttered her name while his hands caressed her back and traveled downward to find the curve of her bottom. Then in one quick forceful movement he hitched her legs slightly up around his hips. She in turn moved her fingers through his thick hair all the while releasing sighs of pleasure after each feel of his mouth against her skin. Rose's mind was racing, thoughts of how wonderful she felt overlapping with images of what she had to do. Then as The Doctor's hands drew nearer to parts of her body that would escalate their kisses into something far more dangerous, a loud crash followed by the sound of metal scrapping against metal brought them both back down from their high.

"What was that?" Rose panted into his ear, her body still reacting to the very intense snogging that had just occurred.

"The TARDIS console … it's been open." The Doctor stated in a voice that sounded far away.

He didn't move for a long while after that and their bodies remained pressed up against one another. They were no longer kissing and this caused Rose to become acutely aware of things that had been hazy during their romantic encounter. Most notable was the intimacy of her legs up around his waist. The position she found herself in revealed a very specific indication as to just how aroused The Doctor was and the feel of it made Rose slightly embarrassed. As if sensing the uneasiness of his partner, The Doctor instantly released his hold on Rose's hips and backed away. Her feet, which had been raised off the ground by the force of his body and the TARDIS at her back, fell to the floor. He shook his head causing his hair to flop back and forth, all the while making some sort of noise that sounded like disapproval. Rose wanted to ask what he was feeling, but The Doctor didn't give her chance. He quickly turned and walked towards the TARDIS console, which was now pulled open. His eyes focused on the wisps of golden steam pouring from the exposed core and away from Rose. Clearly in her mind he was avoiding what had just happened between them.

Rose took a moment to straighten her clothing and made sure the sonic screwdriver was still hidden away in her jacket pocket. Once her hand grasped the coldness of the metals that made up the device, she walked over to stand beside The Doctor. "Are you going to say anything?" She whispered staring at the beautiful display of light the heart of the TARDIS created.

The Doctor tilted his head in her direction and calmly replied, "Does anything need to be said? What happened, happened and let's leave it be. There really isn't any point in pulling these emotions out when in the end it doesn't matter."

"Why doesn't it matter, Doctor?" Rose asked, "Don't I matter to you or was that just some lustful fantasy you've always wanted to fulfill?"

Rose knew her words were cutting and honestly didn't believe them to be true. Yet, the feeling of rejection now replacing the arousal she had only just recovered from was strong enough that there was a need to retaliate. It was a knee jerk reaction to a situation that should have been handled with care and instantly she regretted saying such a hurtful thing. Still Rose wasn't as old as he was. She couldn't just turn herself off after a moment like the one they'd shared. She hadn't intended it to become that intense, but it was obviously something they both wanted and his lack of consideration for her feelings made Rose want to irrationally hurt him back.

"What a flippant thing to say and so unlike you, Rose." The Doctor snapped back sounding like a grouchy child.

"Well, what a flippant way for you to react to this. Really, what do you expect me to say after that, after what almost happened, well I don't know … what were you intending, Doctor? Quick boff over there to say goodbye," Rose pointed to the wall he had pushed her up against. "Your hands came near enough to the button on my jeans a few times."

Tears were stinging the corner of her eyes, which did not go unnoticed by The Doctor. His display of apathy quickly melted away as his forehead creased conveying pain, "Not like that. I didn't want it like that. Never." His voice cracked, "You deserve something more appropriate for the nature of … us. _We_ deserve so much more than some quick, meaningless sex."

His hands came up to the sides of her face and he brought her in closer for a kiss. The feel of his lips on hers was much tenderer than before. "I'm sorry." He breathed, "I'm sorry I can't give you what you need in a proper courtship … and for this."

Rose felt him slowly move his fingers towards her temples and something akin to a Time Lord's companion instinct told her that this was it. He was about to remove her memories and she reacted by pushing him away with such great force that he tumbled backward onto the TARDIS floor. Her plan wasn't exactly going the way she had envisioned, but she was hardly going to go down without a fight. There wasn't time anymore to lure The Doctor to the door, push him out, and keep him from coming back inside with his own screwdriver. Everything had gone horribly off course, due to one simple kiss that had become so much more.

"You might be willing to give up on us, but I'm not." Rose stated with certainty and then turned her attention to the bright energy of the Time Machine's core.

"What are you doing?" The Doctor shouted, rising to his feet.

"What I have to do to save us." And then Rose's looked directly into the source of the clouds of gold pouring from the console, not sure what would happen, but knowing it was her last hope for having a life where she would remember The Doctor's love.

_Please, let me remember him_, Rose begged the powerful being shining its magnificent glow all around her. Almost instantaneously warmth began to spread over her body and even as The Doctor grasped for her, tying to pull her away, she stayed rooted in place. The TARDIS heart had already begun its take over and when Rose felt the sonic screwdriver being lifted from her pocket, she didn't even try to retrieve the device back from The Doctor. It no longer mattered. The power was hers regardless and once this realization swept through her a burning began to build. It entered through her eyes and multiplied in intensity as it filled up every cell that made her a living being. Eventually Rose's brain began to shift away from her own inner thoughts and when she turned about to face The Doctor it was the heart of the TARDIS in control.


	18. Chapter 18

_She knows._

These two words filled The Doctor's head as he felt the force of Rose's hands thrusting him away and onto the floor. He was already feeling a deep regret for hurting Rose with his lack of composure during their kiss and then his lack of emotion afterward. Now self loathing was threatening to have a moment with him. Well, all this guilt would have to wait. Yes, it was an egregious oversight that he hadn't caught on to her awareness of his plan to erase her memory and he would be sure to lump it in with every other bloody cock up he'd fallen into so easily as of late. First though, he needed to gain control of the situation back from Rose.

"What are you doing?" He asked, trying to distract Rose.

Her intentions were obvious to him, but he asked anyway. He needed to get her attention back on him and away from the determination he'd seen in her eyes as he'd fallen to the ground. It was vital to produce a distance between Rose and the console, so when she responded to his question with, "What I have to do to save us," The Doctor's own eyes searched out a weakness in his companion that he might exacerbate.

That's when he spied the sonic screwdriver peeking out from Rose's pocket. The Doctor uttered an oath for having had the wool pulled over his eyes yet again. The image of Amy playfully relieving him of the device was still fresh in his head, but then he had never attempted to gain it back from her. He'd been too focused on Rose at the time. Shaking off his frustration, The Doctor decided to make leap for it, knowing full well that in all probability his trusted tool wouldn't even work against the godlike creature Rose was becoming. His options were limited, though and he liked the idea of pushing her over, because it would kill two birds with one stone. If he could get Rose on the floor this would in effect keep her from looking into the console and he'd have a better chance of retrieving his screwdriver.

His attempt at knocking Rose over to gain control of his sonic screwdriver went down without result. Her body remained steadfast while absorbing the energy. After a quick reassessment of the situation, The Doctor saw that he could simply lift the instrument from her pocket without any retaliation. Rose's focus was on pulling one of the most powerful energies of the universe inside her and nothing else. Sure enough, she didn't bother with him and once he had his old standby in hand the Doctor waited. It was all he could do, well, that and hope the heart of his TARDIS might listen to reason. Any amount of physical force he used would never be enough, because she was no longer Rose. This fact was made all the more evident when she turned, having fully absorbed his ship's power, and the brightness cascading off of her was so intense that The Doctor had to shield his eyes.

"You need to stop this, Rose. You don't know what you're doing." He pleaded with the girl, who no longer resembled the human he loved, but rather something far more powerful and dangerous.

"This is not for you to decide. It has never been for you to decide. The human wishes to keep her memories of you and she shall. You will not erase her memory."

Rose spoke in a voice that echoed in his ears, bringing forth memories of the last time she had sounded that way. This recollection was a past in jeopardy if Rose returned to it with knowledge of him. "You must let me erase her memories or do so yourself. If you don't things might change, good things, concrete things that need to happen."

"You will not erase her memory." Rose repeated, "You are a Time Lord and are aware that time can be rewritten. It is what she wants and what you want as well."

The Doctor raised his arms towards Rose and made a frantic motion with his hands in frustration, "Of course, it's what I want!" he shouted, his voice drenched in aggravation, "Why wouldn't I want to be with the one person who was able to pull me back from the edge after the Time War? The one person I allowed myself to fall in love with after so many years of denying myself? This is ludicrous! I'm not willing to take the chance of altering history enough that The Reapers appear or good people who lived, because of her, now die!"

"You will not erase her memory." Rose stated in the monotone that had taken over her vocal chords.

"I'm sorry can you repeat that … I didn't get it the first bloody time." The Doctor growled while running his fingers through his hair in anger.

The creature inside Rose didn't respond, seemingly aware enough of The Doctor to identify a derisive tone. It did though move towards him, which alarmed the Time Lord enough that he backed away. He didn't think Rose would harm him, but having been witness to her destructive capabilities the last time this power had flowed through her body, The Doctor wasn't taking any chances. "What are you doing?" He asked defensively.

Rose reached out her hand and placed it underneath his suit coat to find his chest. There she placed it, and maneuvered one of the buttons of his shirt free causing them both to experience the skin on skin contact of her hand over his beating hearts. The sensation felt very warm to him. "I love you." She spoke in a manner that sounded more human and less of what her voice had became while under the control of the TARDIS energy.

"If you do, then you will stop this." He whispered while staring into her former brown irises that now shone gold.

"I'm sorry." Was all she said before an unseen force gently moved The Doctor away from her, the console and any chance he had of salvaging the situation.

As the TARDIS door closed with him on the outside, The Doctor reached out and pounded on it with one fist while his other hand manipulated the sonic screwdriver to reopen his time machine. He was vaguely aware of Amy rushing up to join him, but ignored her and continued on his futile mission to get back inside. "No, Damn it!" He cried out when in time his fist met with air, the TARDIS having left him behind and gone into the Time Vortex with Rose Tyler as its only occupant.

_3 months later_

Quietly opening the door leading outside the banquet hall, The Doctor shivered slightly as the unseasonably cold June air hit him in the face. Despite the chill, the environment was a nice change from the stuffiness inside the building and he enjoyed the feel of the cool air inside his lungs as he took a deep breath and exhaled. Weddings were always such joyous affairs for humans and he tended to find himself right in the midst of that joy with this time being no exception. The Doctor had made it a point to dance with just about everyone in attendance, including the bride and much to his mortification, the groom as well. He just hoped it would be enough for Amy. There was a sense that this would mark the end of their relationship as Doctor and companion and he wanted her to remember him in a positive light despite the chaos he'd caused for the girl over the years.

"Hey you, not disappearing on me again like last time are you?"

The Doctor whirled about to see Amy, dressed in her beautiful white wedding gown. Her red hair was slightly askew due to all the dancing she'd done, but the few strands hanging down in front of her face didn't seem to bother her. She was leaning against the door she'd just exited through and eyeing him skeptically.

"Which disappearing act are you referring to? There've been so many that I've lost count." He joked, playfully jabbing her shoulder.

Amy scoffed and quickly ran past him, grasping the top hat from his head in the process. She then covered her glorious red updo with the hat and tipped it in his direction, "A Time Lord losing count, now there's a laugh. Aren't you supposed to remember everything? You know what with all of time occupying that tiny brain of yours."

Now it was The Doctor's turn to scoff, "I thought we discussed this months ago, Pond," he said, imitating a teacher lecturing his student, "I've got a very big brain."

"Yes, I remember on our trip to see Rose you had many conversations with your big brain."

The Doctor involuntarily groaned. Neither of them had spoken about Rose since he'd brought Amy back from that trip and then gone off for a few days on his own afterward. Not mentioning Rose was an order he implemented upon his return and Amy had to agree to abide by this if she wanted to continue traveling with him. He now realized she was referring to _that_ disappearance and in her own coy way was trying to pick his big brain for details. "Give me my hat back. It looks lousy on you." The Doctor grumbled.

Amy relinquished the top hat, but not her resolve to pursue the topic she had broached, "You can't keep quiet about it forever, you know. I mean, why not tell me what happened? Why did you leave me without a word and then come back, but refuse to talk about Rose. You can't experience something like that and keep it all to yourself. It's not healthy." Amy's voice was soft and The Doctor could tell she was trying her best to sound concerned.

"This coming from the girl who had a very _healthy_ obsession with me from an early age." The Doctor said doubtfully.

Amy placed both her hands on his shoulders and gave him a quick shake, "Don't you see? That's perfect then. We both have unhealthy habits. I like to fixate on men who are no good for me and you like to repress your emotions. We could be like an AA meeting for unhealthy habits. Maybe we could even get Rory to join, because between you and me I've caught him picking his nose before and that's very unhealthy."

The Doctor couldn't help, but laugh at her tenacity. That was Amy though, little incorrigible Amy Pond. He had to resist the urge to ruffle her hair, not wanting to displace her hairstyle anymore than her dancing and his top hat had already done. "I suppose if I ever was going to say what happened to anyone then it would be to you. Have you got five minutes for a sincere one on one conversation where I might reveal things pertaining to Rose?"

Amy's mouth grew into a large grin and she nodded enthusiastically, "I told Rory I'd be a bit, so we don't have to worry about any nosy husbands coming and poking around." She joked and then took one of The Doctor's hands into her own.

His decision to finally break his silence had everything to do with Amy and nothing to do with what he actually needed. In fact, The Doctor dreaded the idea of reliving the events right after Rose left. Yet, with his departure from Amy's life looming, he thought revealing his secret to her would hopefully give the girl some closure. "Where shall I start? I suppose I should explain why I left you alone in your room right after our return."

"Not even a word about where you were going or when you'd be back." Amy reminded him, a slight scowl taking over her features.

The Doctor grimaced, "Well, don't you think you deserved some sort of punishment for stealing my sonic screwdriver and passing it along to Rose? Besides, I was giving us both some time. You needed time alone with Rory and well, I needed time to process the new memories Rose had given me."

Amy shook her head "But nothing changed … at least that's how I saw it. If Rose had changed the past and by extension our future then why would we have gone back in time to see her in the first place?"

"Nothing changed for us." The Doctor explained, "Me and you … all the same, but inside my head I had all sorts of new memories pressing up against old ones. You see as a Time Lord it is possible for me to have many different timelines going through my head at once. It's a curse, among many curses, that traveling through time brings. The new memories were very life changing for me and me alone. I had to remove myself from anything and everyone just to process them."

"What'd you mean? What kind of memories?" Amy's unique insight into The Doctor let her see the pain he was trying to hide and she squeezed his hand, "You can tell me."

A heavy sigh left his mouth as Amy sent him a look that resembled pity. The Doctor didn't want her sympathy and his pride told him that as a Time Lord he should be above it. Although, deep down he knew this wasn't true. There were many times in his new memories with Rose that she had taken him aside to comfort him when recollections of the Time War became too much. She had used words of love along with other aspects that came along with having a romantic relationship.

"I'm sorry. Is it too much?" Amy asked after a few minutes of his reflection had transpired.

"No, I'm fine." The Doctor stated, brushing her concern aside, "It's just … your worry for me is very similar to Rose's, but that's beside the point. The memories yes, new memories … moving forward. Well, funny thing is Rose never actually told me anything about how I had come to visit her with you, revealed I loved her, kissed her along with some other things that you don't know about and well, that's not important."

The Doctor was talking in the fast pace he was known to use from time to time. Usually the rate of his speech could be tied to his emotions, the more stirred he was the faster he talked. This time was different though. It was his need to run right past this part of the story that compelled him to speak in haste, but Amy placed her index finger and thumb over his lips, squishing them together and silencing her friend. "Slow down." She said, "I can barely make out what you're saying. Although, I did hear you mention a kiss between you and Rose that I wasn't aware of. Somehow you failed to reveal this very important detail to your best friend?"

"Can I talk now?" The Doctor squeaked out through pursed lips.

Amy's brows rose in mock disapproval, but none the less she relinquished his mouth and The Doctor continued with his story, making sure to talk at a much slower rate for Amy's sake, "The important part, the part that altered history was what Rose _did_ tell me. She said she loved me. Right away, blurted it out and bloody hell, do you know what I did? I said it right back … stupid lovesick fool … and that was something we'd never discussed in our other timeline. That admission of love began a new timeline and while it didn't change anything big for anyone else it did give us a chance at something we both wanted, but never had the courage to speak about before."

Amy clapped her hands, "Then this is good news! Why wouldn't you want to tell me before? Yes, you changed the past, but it only changed things for the better."

"Ah, yes, but things aren't quite so simple." The Doctor said with a sigh, bringing pause to Amy's celebration, "Experiencing love, knowing it instead of just wondering about it, creates a bigger hole in my life now that she's gone and I had to experience that all at once. The sensation … a new and larger feeling of loss … losing not only my companion, but my lover as well, it was very painful and still is. Even after 3 months, I'm not able to speak of it without experiencing that sorrow all over again."

He wasn't aware that a tear had formed in one of his eyes, until Amy brought her thumb up to wipe it away. Then she pulled him into an embrace, stroking his back as he let a few more tears fall on her shoulder. "But, isn't this still for the better, Doctor?" She said softly, "Your loss is greater, but now at least you have that feeling of closure. You no longer have to wonder what it would have been like if you had only told Rose you loved her, because you did and maybe as silly as it sounds perhaps it was the Universe putting things right."

The Doctor didn't reply, but it was something he'd thought of as well. Still, there really wasn't any point in dwelling too much over the idea. Like Amy said, there was closure now. No longer did he ache to be with Rose, because he _had_ been with her. She would always occupy his heart as one of his great loves, but their story was now complete and it did bring him some comfort.

"Thank you for telling me that." Amy said, squeezing him extra hard, before pulling away.

The Doctor sniffled his last trace of sadness away and smiled at Amy, "No, thank you for being a shoulder for this oaf to cry on."

"Well, you big oaf, I'm just going to step inside for a bit. I really what would the neighbors say if I forget to collect my husband, before we head off again in the TARDIS?" Amy said reaching for the door handle that would lead her back inside.

"Beg pardon." The Doctor asked, slightly confused at her words, "Are you intending to still travel with me and Rory's okay with this?"

Amy winked and then rushed back inside.

The Doctor chuckled to himself as he watched her go.

_A married couple inside the TARDIS? Well, it wouldn't be the first_.

He thought back to his impromptu wedding with Rose on a trip they'd had to Vegas, Nevada. It was hardly legal on this planet or any other, but they both pretended it was and often called each other _Husband_ and _Wife_ afterward just for fun. It was one of many new memories he'd shared with Rose that would stay close to his heart for the next thousand years of his life. Despite how much more painful she had made his loss of her, The Doctor would forever be thankful to Rose for that one time she did not listen to him and consequently gave him the life he'd always wanted.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Thanks for all those who have continued to read this story and sent me encouraging reviews over the months I spent writing this. I hope the ending is what you hoped it would be. Also thanks to Amanda (discreetmaths) for her help these last few chapters.


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